I grew up in a home where my parents modeled a meek leadership style. I witnessed humility, compliance, submission and gentleness in the way they served their leaders in the body of Christ. In no way, were they stifled in presenting their ideas and thoughts but they held to the concept “It’s not what you say, but how you say it.”My parents serve with a peaceful personality style. They are not the kind of people that make waves or cause division by being highly opinionated and “loud in the crowd.” With that in mind, I became accustomed to operating in the ministry with this style of personality being deemed the proper way of doing things.
It wasn’t until I ventured out beyond my upbringing that I discovered other types of leadership styles that were vastly different and also effective in their own right.
Since serving in pastoral work for the past eleven years, I have learned that there are four personality types that each of us possess. Two are probably more predominate either in the strength of one and weakness in the other or vice versa.
These four are:
- Choleric – Goal oriented personality
- Sanguine – Party personality
- Phlegmatic – Team player personality
- Melancholic – Perfectionist personality
Once I gained an understanding of these personality types, I discovered that my predominate personality was melancholic.
In this blog post I want to speak about the choleric personality. It is my opinion, that my upbringing would best describe this type of person, who may lack the development of the fruit of the Spirit, as “bossy britches.”
Choleric personalities are awesome people who add strength to any team!
The strengths of a choleric personality could be defined as:
- A natural born leader.
- One that seeks to make change.
- A need to correct situations that need corrected.
- A decisive person who can independently work on their own.
- One that can overcome discouragement easily by detaching their emotions from given situations.
- They exude confidence.
- They need a goal to work toward. Once they have a goal they are moved to action until that goal is completed.
- They are highly organized and welcome a challenge.
- They desire to see productive results.
- They are not afraid of a challenge (opposition) while pursuing their goal. In fact, it makes the journey even more stimulating.
- They don’t necessarily need a lot of friends around to stay motivated.
- Emergency situations cause them to excel.
The weaknesses could be defined as:
- They can come across as rude, impatient and bossy.
- Their temper is sometimes quick and they don’t like to admit when they may be wrong.
- They can come on too strong and intimidate other personality types with their sternness.
- Since their accustomed to excelling in emergency situations they can appear to be unsympathetic.
- They have a tendency to over dominate and give answers too quickly.
- They can become impatient easily with mistakes of other and have little tolerance with people who show poor performance.
- They can be demanding of others and believe that the end justifies the means.
- They demand loyalty in the ranks and are driven by a strong work ethic.
- They appear to know everything and like to be the decision maker.
- They have a difficult time apologizing, although they may often be right.
The funny thing about all four personality types, is that when you begin to describe them, I normally find myself describing the choleric first and using their personality type as “Example A.” Most people can identify with someone in their life who exemplifies this strong personality style. Having a choleric personality isn’t a negative…it can very much be a positive! In fact, I have an excellent member of my team who exemplifies this personality and I’ve learned to truly embrace their positive aspects.
With that being said, our team at BFWC would be scary if every member was a choleric. And the same could be said if no one was a choleric.
Choleric personalities are self-motivated. When they see that something needs to be done, they get it done one way or another. You don’t have to hold their hand and walk them through the process from point A to point B. They aren’t afraid to lead – however, they must really work on their people skills, because they can be impatient and short tempered if they don’t and run people off if they’re too abrasive.
If I give a choleric personality an idea and point them in the right direction, I can sit back and drink a tall glass of sweet tea knowing that the job will get done. If they have questions, they will ask and if something comes up they will deal with it. As long as they are committed to being under delegated authority and fulfilling the vision of their leader this works well.
However, if they are not determined to submit to delegated authority and decide to work their own agenda, they become dangerous because choleric personalities want to understand why they are doing something. They will not usually work at tasks that don’t make a lot of sense to them. But, if they understand spiritual authority, they will obey leadership, trusting God with the outcome.
Now, let’s suppose you are a choleric spouse and have a hard time submitting to your spouse, let alone your employer. You will have to really work and ask God to speak to your heart so that you can embrace the authority that has been placed over your life.
If you’re not careful, you can run people over with your strong personality. That is why it is essential that you work on your people skills. When you find out what makes you tick you’ll discover what makes other people tick as well. If you’re successful at this, you’ll end up appreciating other people’s personalities and will work well with anyone.
Choleric personalities like to be in charge. It’s not because they’re prideful, they are driven with a true spirit of leadership – a gift from the Lord. They have the ability to observe a situation and then develop a plan to bring about a solution. That’s why I love having choleric people in my life!
On the side of caution, you must make sure they know what their boundaries are. They have a tendency to take charge where they‘ve not been given authority. It’s easy for choleric personalities to have a “take over” spirit especially if a quiet melancholic or phlegmatic is in authority and is assumed to not be assertive enough. It would be easy for them to “take over” but that would not be right. The leader is the leader whether you like how they are leading or not.
As already stated, sometimes choleric personalities are accused of being insensitive and even heartless. However, that is not true. The issue comes from them being highly opinionated. They aren’t afraid to speak their mind, because words don’t carry a lot of weight to them. Therefore, they can shrug off negative comments rather easily and can’t understand why others are so easily offended.
An issue comes from their “quick to speak” personality, when other personality types feel they’re being attacked or undervalued. Here’s where the choleric personality can gain ground…if they are willing to pursue understanding and make adjustments, by learning to soften what they say or better yet, just be quiet and listen.
We have all four personality types in us. However, two are predominate. Here’s another way to view it:
- Let’s say you’re a choleric/sanguine - you’ll be able to get the job done and make sure everyone is having fun at the same time.
- If you’re a choleric/melancholic – you’ll not only get the job done but in the end you’ll give everyone a detailed report of how they did.
- If you’re a choleric/phlegmatic – you’ll get your job done and have patience enough to let others get their job done without interference.
A choleric personality can appear to be tough as nails on the exterior. Words don’t usually harm them. However, if they feel they are misunderstood they can become discouraged. Also, they have a heart that loves and wants to be loved, even if they don’t always show it.
Embrace the choleric personality in your life. If you’re having a difficult time receiving their words or actions, don’t be afraid to tell them what’s on your mind. Your words won’t hurt them and honestly they might not know their words or actions are being offensive. Just tell them. They can handle it.
Learn to embrace their leadership style and you’ll have one of the most loyal team members a pastor could ask for!