Quit whining!
Grow up!
Wow...that's tough to hear when you're navigating through the difficulties of ministry. I don't care how long you've been in ministry, how seasoned you are or how tough you think you are...NO ONE enjoys dealing with JUNK...especially me.
However, I met a pastor one time who told me that he enjoys conflict. He seemed to have a sparkle in his eyes when he talked about personality conflicts and turmoil. He seemed to live for a good fight.
NOT ME...I enjoy peace. I like to lay my head on my pillow at night in rest. To me, conflict is no fun and it certainly isn't easy to deal with when you're physically or emotionally drained. Dealing with junk gets old. However, conflict is inevitable.
Ministry has ups and downs. Bottom line...sometimes it's just plain difficult.
BUT the good news is that God teaches you something through every situation that adds value to your life and catapults you to the next level.
We could talk about lots of things that add stress to the ministry...lying, gossip, disrespect, disloyalty, sin, pride, rebellion, fornication, adultery, laziness, disunity, and more...but I want to share some things with you that I've learned over the years that have helped me to keep going even in the face of difficulty.
Every leader will DEAL with:
LONELINESS
- We've all heard the phrase..."it's lonely at the top?" Although we shouldn't attempt to do ministry alone...there are times when the leader will have to stand alone.
- Every leader desires to have friends and yet, we cannot allow a spirit of "familiarity" to come upon those God has placed under our leadership.
- I've learned that you must beware of becoming "entangled" in the lives of those in whom you're leading.
- Becoming too familiar will cause most people to no longer be able to see you as the leader. They will begin to see that you are human; and although in one way they want you to be so, in another way they are disappointed if you are.
- In ministry, especially as a pastor, you have to look for "divine connections" when it comes to friendships. We all need friends, but those friends need to fall into two categories:
- Friends in ministry - people doing the same thing I am doing.
- Friends outside of ministry - people who do not work for me and are not directly involved with my ministry.
- Honestly, there have been a couple of times that I've made the mistake of trying to be a "best" friend with some guys and it didn't work out.
- Even Jesus' family didn't understand Him - they thought he was out of His mind. (Mark 3)
- His disciples didn't really understand Him or His call.
- John the Baptist understood Him more than anyone and even he said, "are you the one or do we look for another?"
- Jesus knows what it's like to be MISUNDERSTOOD. Hebrews 4:15 "We have a High Priest who understands us and our weaknesses and infirmities."
- There will be times that you don't feel like you fit in.
- You will feel misunderstood.
- Only Jesus will be able to figure you out.
- John 2:24-25 24But Jesus did not commit himself unto them, because he knew all men, 25And needed not that any should testify of man: for he knew what was in man.
- Matthew 26:40 40And he cometh unto the disciples, and findeth them asleep, and saith unto Peter, What, could ye not watch with me one hour?
It's easy for people to say, "Laugh more and have fun," when they are not the ones who need to prepare for meetings, training, conferences and pastoral duties.
You'll be bombarded with requests, phone calls, emails and more! Sometimes it seems that everybody you get around wants something, needs something, expects something, has a question or needs counseling for an urgent decision.
THIS ONE THOUGHT HAS HELPED ME....
birds fly in flocks, but EAGLES fly alone!
birds fly in flocks, but EAGLES fly alone!
Giant oak trees do not grow in clumps, they are usually by themselves, perhaps on a hill - and they look majestic!
Learning how to DEAL with loneliness will help you LAST in ministry.
