Beverly and I dated for approximately five years before we were married at the young age of twenty. Although we were young, we were blessed to have good examples of a Christian marriage in our life which prepared us, along with an extended courtship, to enter into this covenant marriage.
A Covenant Marriage? To some, looking at marriage in the terms of covenant seems archaic. Covenant as defined by the Scriptures is a solemn and binding relationship which is meant to last a life time. The covenant marriage is based on the covenant God has made with us.
1. Two lives become one.
- In covenant you become identified with the other individual and there is a supernatural commingling of two lives.
- Two become One flesh. This is an illustration of Christ & the Church (Ephesians 5:32)
- In marriage, your family becomes your spouse's family, your desires your beloved's desires, and yes, even your finances are your covenant partner's finances.
2. There is a sign to remember which serves as a witness and a memorial.
- When God entered covenant with Noah, He gave Noah the rainbow which was to be a testimony that God would remain forever faithful to keep the covenant never again to flood the earth so as to destroy all flesh.
- When we enter covenant with our spouse, the sign is usually a ring which serves as a covenant reminder (memorial) of the solemn and binding of that marriage covenant.
3. There is a name change
- In Genesis 17, God reaffirmed His covenant with Abram and changed his name to Abraham. He also changed Sarai's name to Sarah.
- As the wife takes on her husband's name, this change symbolizes the supernatural identity and oneness God intended for the partners who have entered the marriage covenant.
Covenant also includes...
4. The sharing of a meal - the picture of sharing a common life together.
5. Friendship is cemented - the picture of sticking closer than a brother. As friends in the marriage covenant there should be no secrets kept of concealed from each other.
6. Witnesses are there to testify - should you ever forget the covenant you made, witnesses are there to serve as a reminder to your vows.
As I look back and look to the future I can honestly say that there are certain elements a successful marriage has to have. By the way, these principles should be in place before marriage is even considered.
- Honesty - If you're not honest before marriage, you won't be honest in marriage. You've heard the phrase, "secrets, secrets are no fun...secrets, secrets hurt someone."
- Humility - two people who prefer one another over themselves will more than likely stay out of divorce court. Our biggest problem today is when we think our spouse has fallen short in "serving us." This is a result of selfishness. If you're dating someone right now and they are always trying to get something from you but never want to do anything for you...you better RUN!
- Patience - It seems we are more patient with others than we are with our own spouse...the person we are in covenant relationship with. We should avoid "biting" one another...especially in front of other people. No one wants to be around couples that are always bickering.
- Self-Examination - instead of pointing out our spouses faults, we should take a look at our own. In truth, the very thing that may be frustrating you about your spouse could be something that is wrong with you. If we'll be open to the Lord's correction and willing to examine ourselves...we'll be further down the road of becoming the spouse our spouse deserves. Here's another thought...even if 90% of the problem is attributed to your souse, what if you stepped up and owned the 10% of the problem that you were responsible for? What would happen in your marriage if you asked the Lord to show you how to improve rather than asking Him to fix your spouse?
- Jesus - most of the marriages that I have seen fall apart have had one thing in common...either one or both of the people involved decided not to wrap their lives up in JESUS! If your marriage is to survive...Jesus will have to be the center of it...period! Friend, if you're dating someone right now who isn't focused on Jesus...you better RUN...cause I've seen it too many times...your relationship will hit a wall and it will HURT!
There is much more to say about marriage. More to come...
Happy Anniversary to my wonderful wife Beverly! I love you!