A Coach Will Walk With You

We all need someone speaking into our lives...but we can't be obsessed with everybody who has something to say about our lives.

Teddy Roosevelt said, "It is not the critic who counts, not the one who points out how the strong man stumbled or how the doer of deeds might have done them better.  The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.  Whose face is marred with sweat and dust and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes short again and again and again, who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions and spends himself in a worthy cause.  Who, if he wins, knows the triumph of high achievement, and who, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory or defeat."

Anyone who leads will have their share of critics.  Criticism isn't all bad.  In fact, God can use your critic to catapult you.

Not everyone will agree with you.  That's OK.  Even your friends will probably disagree with you from time to time.  Again, that' OK.  "The wounds from a FRIEND can be trusted..." (Proverbs 27:6)

Jesus never allowed His critics to direct the course of His ministry.  Jesus surrounded Himself with a great team.  His example tells us that doing ministry ALONE is not only foolish...it's arrogant.  God has placed people in our lives for the purpose of ENCOURAGING and CORRECTING us.

Who should we listen to?  Honestly, there's hardly ever a time when you should listen to a critic...but we should ALWAYS listen to a coach.
  

Critics hardly KNOW you...but a coach has WALKED with you.

When we allow the voices of those who barely know us to influence us...then we are headed down the path of distraction.

This past year, as I watched our UPWARD Football games, I was particularly impressed by the coaching style of Payton Williams.  He took time to teach his players how to play the game better.  He spoke with them on a level they could understand.  His care for their welfare built a TRUST in their reception to his voice.

Leader...as you lead...remember that anyone who walks out in front will get kicked in the hind-end! 

Whatever you do...DO NOT give your valuable time and energy to the person in the stands who is chowing down on cotton candy and a frozen coke and does nothing but yell their opinion the entire time.  Give your time to a TRUSTED COACH who sees you as a human being and is interested in your success.

Paul said, "Although you have 10,000 instructors YET you have not many fathers." (1 Corinthians 4:15)  There are a lot of people speaking...some criticism, some celebration...but I'd say the thing that a COACH has that a CRITIC does not is my RESPECT.
It's a process...

1. Explaining - When we first came to BFWC I felt that I had to explain what God had called me to do and the purpose behind each decision we were making.  I hoped that I could get people to understand the WHY and the WAY.  However, I soon learned that most critics don't want an explanation...they want an argument.  They want the chance to shame you, to speak down to you, to tell you how right they are...and how much you stink.  I learned the hard way that trying to explain everything to everybody is fruitless and pointless.
   
   Don't waste your time trying to explain yourself to anyone who doesn't have the courtesy or the courage to look you in the eye and conduct themselves Biblically.
   
2. Bickering - Avoid arguing.  If you spend all your energy trying to put out the fires of negativity against your church, your ministry, your integrity, etc., all you'll end up with a "he said, she said" situation.  Apostle Paul said in 2 Timothy 2:23 to not have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments.  Move on.
   
3. Irritating - Allowing the Holy Spirit to develop Galatians 5:22-23 in your life is a process.  Without the FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT in us, we'd end up doing some stupid things out of anger.  When you let anger get the best of you...it will control you.  You'll spend all your time trying to answer your critics rather than really listening to the Lord...which can end up causing you emotional and spiritual damage.
   
   Remember when Paul told the church in Ephesus to NOT let the devil get a foothold? (Ephesians 4:27)  He was trying to help us steer clear from these offenses.
   
   Friend, don't allow the enemy to control you through your critics.  You are called to be on the OFFENSE in the Kingdom of God...NOT the DEFENSE!
   
4. Ignoring - Rid yourself from junk. Delete, remove, ignore and cut it out of your life.  Some people actually think that Facebook and Twiiter are the REAL WORLD and a REAL FAMILY.  They spend their lives distracted in the over indulgence of cyberspace.  When you're working for God, you don't have time to read negativity let alone post it.  Ask yourself this..."would Billy Graham do that?"  If not, then neither should we.
   
   The best way to put out the fires of hatefulness is to pour water...NOT gasoline.  I love what Nehemiah said in Nehemiah 6:1-4 when his critics tried to get him to take his eyes off of the work, "I am doing a great work...and I cannot come down."  Friend...STAY ON THE WALL...there are so many people that need you to stay focused!
   
5. Loving - Jesus wept over Jerusalem...but He also turned over the tables in the temple.  There is a time to respond in boldness but there is also a time to respond with love and compassion.  I prefer the latter.
   
   Remember when the prodigal son came home and the older brother didn't come in the house to meet him?  The father goes outside and pleads with the older brother to come in.  It seems that the older brother (the critic) was just as lost as the younger one.
   
   Loving people with compassion doesn't mean you have to explain everything to them...or even exchange words with them...but simply praying for them and asking God to allow them to come into the house and celebrate what God is doing - even if they don't understand the process.