All of us have been a church
visitor from one time or another. A few
months ago, I had the opportunity to visit a church out of state. Overall, it was a GREAT experience.
Since I’m a melancholic
personality, my wheels were turning the entire time. I was being observant of everything that was
taking place…from the parking lot, the hallways, the signage, the atmosphere,
the lighting, the sound, the congregation, the volunteers, the order of
service, the videos, the printed material…you name it…I was checking it out!
Here’s some of the things I jotted
down…
- Pulled in the parking lot and it was clean and had good directional signage.
- There was a welcome banner near the entrance that seemed inviting.
- The sidewalk had several damaged places in it.
- People were mingling outside near some benches. (No one said hello)
- A gentlemen opened the door and greeted me with a smile.
- A few steps further I was greeted by the official “Bulletin Distributor.” Again…a big smile.
- I navigated my way to the Sanctuary…a little uncertain of where I was going…since the Sanctuary was adjacent to another hallway.
- I loved the décor of this church! Very modern and inviting!
- As I entered the Sanctuary, no one was there to greet me and make me feel comfortable. So, I found the back row and made myself comfortable. (After all, I’m a professional church attendee!)
- A young man, who I later discovered was an usher, walked by and welcomed me with a big smile and a handshake. He also introduced himself to me…which made me feel welcome.
- I then met a few more of the members, who also introduced themselves and made me feel welcome. (Terry, Debra, Rose & Connie) – they appeared to be full of joy and happy to be at church that morning. (I appreciated the smiles, the handshakes and the friendliness…it made me feel comfortable in my new environment.)
- Connie proceeded to say, “you have to come back to hear our Pastor…he’s not here today…but when he preaches, God JUMPS out of him! You’re going to love our Youth Pastor, he’s a good preacher too!” (She spoke highly of her leaders and I appreciated hearing someone speak positive…she represented the heartbeat of her leaders and her church!)
- The countdown video came to an end and the worship team took off!
- The worship was upbeat and passionate. The congregation entered in and there were some real “God” moments where I had to reach for a tissue as the tears came rolling. (Of course, there weren't any tissues in sight…so I did what anyone else would do.)
- As I scanned the crowd, I observed that the congregation appeared to be about 95% Caucasian. (Just an observation from someone who is used to seeing diversity)
- At one point during the worship time, it was announced for the “healing team” to come forward. As a Pastor, I knew they were getting ready to pray for the sick and anyone in need. However, as a first time guest, It felt a little awkward because we weren't given clear instructions on what to do from the person who was leading the service. Eventually, people started walking forward and receiving prayer on their own.
- It caused me to think about how we expect everyone who attends our services to somehow FIGURE OUT on their own what our church practices and procedures are. (We need to do better in communicating.)
- The Youth Pastor preached a great message! He spoke very well of the Senior Pastor and was very honoring. I jotted down…GOOD WORD! GOOD SPIRIT! GOOD DELIVERY!
- As honoring as he was to his Pastor, the only thing I wish he would have said is WHERE the Pastor was. As a first time guest, it would have been informational for me to hear from the pulpit that the Pastor was simply preaching at another church that morning and would be back the following Sunday. I think first time guests appreciate knowing when things are different and what they can expect when or if they return.
- If you ask me to fill out a guest card…then please give me something to write with too.
- If you shake my hand…please introduce yourself.
- Please don’t save seats with Bibles and purses. It’s embarrassing to get to a row only to find out it’s already saved. Can you imagine the embarrassment a guest feels when they are half way down the aisle because every row has saved seats?...they have to turn around and walk back with their head down, knowing that everyone in the church is looking at them.
- Please limit your intake of Gatorade and Pepsi while sitting in the Sanctuary. At one point during my visit, I noticed there was a whole lot of Gatorade guzzling going on. In fact, in my row, the two students who sat to my right, they were using their empty bottles as drum sticks. The worst part was that they were doing that while the Youth Pastor was preaching. I kept thinking, “imagine if I was a person off the street who had no church understanding…what a hindrance that would be.” (I’m all for wetting your whistle…but come on…all that slurping, chugging and cap twisting…was a bit much for even a professional church attendee…like myself!)
- Also, if you have to get up and go to the restroom…surely the whole row don’t have to go with you??? Perhaps, a gentle statement like “THANK YOU FOR BEING COURTEOUS TO THOSE AROUND YOU” would be a nice way of encouraging etiquette. (This would apply to parents who also insist on sitting in the front with screaming babies that they have to keep getting up to go to the nursery with.)
Can we all do better? Sure we can.
It just takes preparation and being intentional on our part.
I read something the other
day that I wanted to pass on…
9 Statements Church Visitors Never Want to Hear
1. Our pastor isn't normally this_________.
- Insert whatever you want in this blank: loud, obnoxious, offensive, long-winded. If you have to explain part of your pastor’s style because you know that outsiders won’t like it or understand, you've got a problem. Talk to God about it…but most definitely don’t talk to other people about it. Here’s a good idea…talk to your pastor.
- Always have a backup plan. Always. If someone sees that your service is full once, they’ll deal with it. But they probably won’t come back if they don’t see a plan you have in place.
- Never say this. Never. Your shocked, open mouth reveals your judgmental spirit…at least in the eyes of visitors. When you say this, all they can think is, “God couldn't really love someone like you.”
- Why would someone want to become a member if they've never had the chance to serve?
- Try to streamline the “first time visitors check-in process.” Nobody likes to feel like they’re visiting HR on their first church visit.
- If you ask people to wait more than a month to join community, they’ll often look elsewhere.
- I get it. You love the Bible. You love preaching the Truth. But don’t love that more than you love people.
- Simplifying is the key, otherwise you’ll give people decision paralysis.
- Fill that in with “something nicer,” “something more relaxed,” or “something that’s clean,” and you've offended someone unnecessarily. Creating a “come as you are” culture should be our aim, not creating a “come as I am” culture. Everything in balance.