You can love someone dearly, believe in them, teach them, impart to them, train them, lead them, give them every opportunity & place high expectations on them.
But you can’t make them.
Sometimes, in an effort to ignore internal insecurities & deeply rooted issues, that pre-date you, they’ll attempt to play the victim. They may act like their doing all they can do to please you, but it’s never enough-- that you don’t like them & thus you’re picking on them for no reason.
But the truth is, you’re trying to lead them out of learned behaviors, internal wranglings & dysfunctional patterns, while teaching them how to become what they say they want to be...out of a deep love you have for them.
But again, you can’t make them.
When someone plays the victim, they will convince themselves & attempt to convince others that they are being picked on for no reason. They ignore the fact that they are being given multiple opportunities to fix areas that need corrected, but keep returning to the same patterns. If only they would make the necessary changes & come up to the level they are being challenged to achieve...because you believe in them. Things can be very different, if they will just do what they need to do.
But once again, you can’t make them.
People who convince themselves that they’re not “liked” by certain people or aren’t good enough have allowed their emotions get the best of them & thus they fumble down a repeated road of unnecessary emotional pain. Sadly, this is a generational cycle they were raised in & will more than likely repeat again with the generation coming behind them, unless it’s finally dealt with.
They will feel they’re being excluded, when in reality they have always been included at every turn. They will mis-read information, internalize it & then retreat deeper in the wrong direction.
They will convince others that things have been really rough on them & they don’t know how much more they can take. Their friends & family, going only on the information they’ve been given, will be convinced that they certainly are being victimized & it’s unfair. But what their friends don’t know is that at every turn provisions have been made to provide blessings, opportunities & advancement. However, promotions only come when we pass the test(s). Until then, we must keep taking retakes till we eventually pass the test. You can’t continue to blame the teacher if you keep failing the test.
We can’t play the victim when we wrote the script.
The good news is that there is hope for someone who has mastered the role of “victim.” If they will acknowledge the areas that need to be worked on, begin correcting learned behaviors & determine to retrain their thinking...they can begin moving forward in victory!
They can achieve their “dream.”
One day, if their capacity can shoulder it, they’ll have the opportunity to carry the responsibilities they desire. Then & only then, will they realize the full weight of that responsibility.
I’ve said it for years, “If you can’t do it here, you can’t do it there.” It’s still true. Your NEXT is in your NOW. If you can’t master the basics where you’re at now, how do you ever think you would be able to carry the full weight somewhere else? It just doesn’t work like that.
Thank God we have people in our life who love us enough to hold us accountable, cut away the rough edges & push us to the place of fruit development & dream fulfillment! They’re not our enemy even though we may think they “harp” too much on “honor, alignment, protocol, etc.” In actuality, they’re doing everything they can to prepare us...even if it means teaching on the same subjects repeatedly.
A victim's mentality is an evil stronghold used by Satan to bind the wounded. You're either a VICTOR or a VICTIM. Which VIC are you?