Walk On What Others Are Drowning In

When God is with you, you'll walk on what others are drowning in & you'll rest in places where others couldn't survive one night. What the enemy meant for harm God turned for GOOD!

Friends, I can tell you that if you're going to lead, God will allow situations you think are unfair, unjust & unwarranted to PROCESS you.

You will probably question everything you've been taught, second-guess your own etiquette, manners & principles and even be tempted to retaliate.

However, if you will REMAIN in His grip, TRUST the one that called you, HOLD FAST to good teaching, SEEK to honor God with your conduct & SURROUND yourself with covenant friends & leaders...you will not only SURVIVE...you will THRIVE!

It may be painful right now...having to deal with assumptions, accusations & even character assassination...but I promise you...God will lift you up above your enemy's reach & vindicate you!

Keep a sweet spirit. Pray for those who did you wrong. Put it in God's hands & know that your REWARDS are swift for letting Him deal with it instead of you. 

It's not what you when through...it's how you acted while you went through it.

#BeEncouraged #YourBestDaysAreAheadOfYou

Have You Ever Been Stereotyped?

Have you ever been stereotyped? This morning, I had to drop my truck off at the mechanic. It was early, so I thought I would walk down the road to Starbucks and grab a coffee while I waited for the sun to rise and possibly catch a ride to work from a friend.

Picture this...it's dark, I'm wearing my army green jacket, I'm carrying a gym bag, my backpack and I'm walking down the road. I GOT SOME STARES.

Sometimes when we see people walking down the side of the road, we can assume the wrong thing.  We can assume that just because they are walking, they either don't have a car, can't afford a car or they're homeless.

The truth can become lost in the facts.  The TRUTH is, my truck is in the shop. The FACT is I'm walking to Starbucks by choice. Actually, I could have stayed at the mechanics shop and filled up on the tar-like coffee being served in the 2x2 guest waiting area. #SoundsYummy

I remember something similar happening when my daughter had her High School graduation party. My sister-n-law came into town to help us host the party. During all the preparations we realized that we were completely out of ice and some other items.  Guests were starting to arrive.  With time working against us,  my sister-n-law jumped in the truck with me and we headed to the store to get the items we needed while my wife and daughter stayed at the house to welcome guests and host. When we got to the check-out line to pay for our items...SURE ENOUGH...we ran into one of those "church people" who like to TALK ABOUT EVERYONE and apparently operates in the 10th Spiritual Gift called loquaciousness. 

This dear "sister" (I use that term lightly) confused the TRUTH from the FACTS.  The FACT was I was driving in my truck with another woman (other than my wife) the TRUTH was...she was my sister-n-law.

Friends, never confuse the TRUTH from the FACTS. Often times, people reach conclusions by what they've HEARD rather than what is TRUE. Honestly, you'll never be able to entirely prevent these misunderstandings from happening.  There will always be someone who is nosy, overly opinionated and loves to spread tales.  (Sound like anyone you know? Possibly you?) 

I've learned that you never talk ABOUT someone if you've not taken the time to talk TO them. Friends, enjoy the journey...even if you have to walk to Starbucks in the dark. 

Now when is my ride supposed to be here?

@RussellHylton (Twitter & Instagram)
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No More Dramarama

If you've lived on this planet for any length of time you've discovered that there are some people who DELVE in DRAMA!  Not "dramas" as in movies, TV shows, etc., but rather "drama" as in the petty ridiculous conflicts that get blown way out of proportion for no reason at all.

This kind of drama can be defined as: "Making a big deal over something unnecessarily."

You would like to believe that petty social drama ends the day you leave high school, but sadly, this is not the case.  No matter how old some people are, they can still find ways of adding unnecessary conflict to their relationships, places of employment, church, home, etc.

Sadly, this kind of drama increases stress, ruins relationships and erodes the one thing that none of us can afford to waste...TIME.

The key to living with less stress, having better relationships and making the most of your limited time is to ELIMINATE as much of the drama from your life as you can.

Try this...

1. Never Assume

Assumptions are where drama starts.  Somebody does something that bothers you, and then you run off and start making assumptions about why they did it.  

What you observe someone doing is fact.  If that bothers you, then you need to deal with them face-to-face (one-on-one).  The moment you start making assumptions about their reasons or motives is the moment you move out of the realm of rational thought and into the world of unnecessary stress.

You have no way of truly knowing what a person is thinking or why they do the things they do.  Catch yourself when you start making those assumptions; if you want to live drama free, let those assumptions go and simply resolve to deal with the observable behavior.  Better yet, talk with the person face-to-face with the right spirit, at the right time and in the right place. 

2. Avoid Hearsay

Problems tend to increase exponentially with each additional person who is added to the communication chain.  If I hear you say something, I can be pretty sure of what I heard.  If Lucille tells me that Henry told Mildred that Chester heard Sally say something, chances are that the story you are hearing bears little resemblance to the actual truth.

Each additional person alters the story to some degree.  They may remember things differently.  They may add in emotion or verbiage that wasn't there before.  They may just be flat out wrong.

If you hear something through the grapevine, it might be worth investigating it.  But if you work yourself up into a frenzy based on third, fourth and fifth party communication, then you are just feeding the drama machine.

Never talk about someone until you talk with them.

Don't get pulled into this.  Skip hearsay all together and go straight for the horse's mouth.  It will save time and cut the drama factory way down.  

3. Be Direct

Drama is nothing more than a byproduct of our inability to communicate like logical, rational adults.  That's why it's so prevalent in High School. This is also why it should be totally unacceptable in the adult world.

If you have a problem with someone, talk to them about it.  If you believe that someone has a problem with you, talk to them about it.  Direct conversations nip drama in the bud.  This is not to say that direct conversations make all problems go away, but they will help you cut through the nonsense and deal with the real issue.

Relationship challenges begin and are compounded by passive agressive behavior and indirect communication.  Don't text it.  Don't email it.  Don't voice mail it.  Don't Facebook it.  Don't tweet it.  Go directly to the person and speak with them face-to-face.

4. Take the High Road

Never fight fire with fire.  When you find yourself the victim of some small offense, your first instinct may be to respond in kind.  While this may feel good for a moment, it usually just escalates the situation and makes everything worse.  If you truly want to live drama free, then you need to be willing to be the bigger person and let things go.

You don't need to get in the last word, you don't need to "one up" the other person, and you certainly don't need to make them pay for wronging you.  Just let it go, and watch the drama flow away.

5. Avoid Drama Queens

After you've made sure that you are not creating the drama yourself, the best way to keep your life drama free is to eliminate drama queens (or kings) from your life.

This is easy when you meet new people or are dealing with someone you aren't very close to.  Once you realize they are "drama prone," minimize (or if you can, eliminate) the interactions you have with them.

With people you are close to, have a long history with, or are related to, or who are genuinely good people who's one major flaw is their tendency to make a big deal over nothing, you don't have to cut them out of your life altogether.  Just acknowledge that quality about them and, when they start acting up, don't get pulled into their "drama tsunami."

We are products of our environment.  To live drama free, get as many drama creators out of your life as possible. 

Delete, Delete, Delete

You may never be able to eliminate all the drama from your life, but with just a little bit of focus and discipline you can certainly minimize how much you have in your life.  It's well worth doing - the less drama you have in your life, the more room you have for fun, joy and great relationships!

Ephesians 4:29 "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers."