Gossip

1. It takes COURAGE & COURTESY to walk in INTEGRITY. If you listen to garbage about someone...who is not present...you have no courage, courtesy or integrity.

2. Every act of GOSSIP is a betrayal. If you are not an eyewitness, you are a false witness. When you repeat what someone else has said, you are a garbage peddler.

3. Did you know that people who gossip are actually HIDING their own shame?

4. It is everyone’s job to PROTECT your CIRCLE from becoming a haunt for demons. Demons can’t possess Believers; but they attach to & express themselves through pride, selfish ambition, condemnation, gossip, offense, malice & hypocrisy.

5. When gossips gossip they usually gossip to gossips who spread the gossip until it gets back to those they were gossiping about.

Don't let gossip decide who your friends will be. Discern the voice of jealousy, the spirit of envy & the bile of bitterness.

Keep your lips pure on this sensational Saturday! 

Bye Felecia Praise

THIS IS FOR SOMEONE RIGHT NOW....

You ought to thank God RIGHT NOW for the DRAMA He kept you from with some people & situations!

Why are you trying to hold on to people that have already showed you who/what they are?

My friend...LET THEM GO & give God a #ByeFelicia praise...because He just protected you from CLOWNS, CONFUSION & CALAMITY!

I don't know what your situation is tonight...but I know for myself...that instead of mourning over a SAUL, DEMAS, ABSALOM or GEHAZI...find you a DAVID to bless & enjoy covenant relationship with! You don't have time for people who have NO INTEGRITY.

You've been through too much to allow yourself to be yoked up anymore with ELVIRA "The Mistress of the Dark", her cousin ELVIN "The Magician with Tricks up his Sleeve" or their uncle EBENEZER "The Scrooge!"

Tell the devil to keep it moving!

I'm telling you right now...YOU DON'T HAVE TO yoke up with STRANGER DANGER anymore! Tell CANDY MAN to move on! Tell DISRESPECTFUL, DISGRACEFUL & DISGUSTING you changed the locks, installed cameras & have 911 on speed dial! NEVER again will they have access to your life! ...NEVER!

Like TD Jakes said years ago..."I have the gift of goodbye!"

B
BY
BYE
👋🏽

GET FREE & STAY FREE!

5 Rules Of Gossip & Real Relationships

Don't Be Swept Away With Fake News!

“Spouting off before listening to the facts is both shameful and foolish.” 
Proverbs‬ ‭18:13‬ ‭NLT‬‬

I know first hand how people, who have no clue, think they know so much. Truth is, they've never even talked face-to-face to the person(s) they apparently have an issue with & their fabricated information is not only ignorant it's flavored with someone else's offense.

The Scriptures teach how to handle such issues: Steer clear of these people, mark them & have no fellowship.

“Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them. For they that are such serve not our Lord Jesus Christ, but their own belly; and by good words and fair speeches deceive the hearts of the simple.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭16:17-18‬ ‭KJV‬‬

When it comes to Pastors in Houston, TX and churches who are working with their city to provide HELP, please don't sit in your lazy boy and form an opinion based off of social media or even the news channels that a particular church or leader isn't doing enough to help! Unless you're there FACE-TO-FACE...and can interview them & see it for yourself...your opinion doesn't matter.

On another note...why is it that people who aren't doing much constantly criticize people who are doing more! The point I'm making is, until you're actually accomplishing what they're doing for God...who are we to put our mouth on people? My parents taught me..."you keep your mouth & your hand off the man of God."

You may not like someone's methods or even their message (in the Kingdom of God), but WHO ARE YOU to even criticize? Before we speak to something we KNOW NOTHING ABOUT, let us humbly remind ourselves that we are NOTHING without the grace & mercy of God.

Those who are doing lofty things for God will always come under speculation & assumicide.

The peanut gallery will always have stones to throw & axes to grind. But those who are leading well...are looking through the windshield & not the rear view mirror.

Always remember...what goes around comes around. What you do to someone else will come back to you. It's called the law of reciprocity. If you've caused someone else severe hardship with your mouth or actions...watch out...It's just a matter of time.

If you're interested in helping some great churches in the Houston area, here's more valuable information concerning people we love & respect in God's Kingdom!

Let us continue to PRAY FOR TEXAS! We have many churches/friends that are severely affected by HURRICANE HARVEY.

Please consider DONATING to the following:

• Pastors Don Nordin & Susan Nordin | CT Church in Houston, TX:Donate Here: https://pushpay.com/pay/ctchurch/nAAx_-ri9e-QJ6KDKrC_gQ…
  
• Shawn Nelson Shannon Etdc Nelson | East Texas Dream Center in Conroe, TXDonate Here: http://easttexasdreamcenter.org/giving.html
  
• Pastors Aaron Jayne & Bobbie Jayne | Coastal Bend Family Worship Center in Aransas Pass, TexasDonate Here: https://www.gofundme.com/4c7qbrk
  
• PCG National Missions Disaster Relief Fund:
  Donate Here: https://secure-q.net/donations/PCG/670

Sincerely,

Russell & Beverly Hylton
Lead Pastors
bfwc.net

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People Like Hearing The GOOD STUFF Too!

When you meet up with people from your past or that you haven’t seen in a while it's only natural to want to talk and catch up. It can happen at a party, somebody's wedding, the church nursery, Facebook or even when you bump into somebody on the street.. Catching up in itself is not a problem. The problem usually occurs when the topic of conversation turns to people you know. While you may want to share memories about the people in your life, you really need to watch what you say. Something innocently said can lead to misunderstanding & in some cases; cause the end of a friendship.

That's why it's important to remember, these FIVE SIMPLE RULES OF GOSSIP: 

1. Stick to the Facts - When you're telling a story you have your opinion. Unfortunately when you add in your two cents, sometimes it can change a person's perception of the situation. Even when you think you know everything about what went on in someone else's life, you may not have the whole story. So when you're talking about someone else, only say what you know is true.
   
2. Never start with "I heard..." - There's a reason hearsay isn't admissible in court. People sometimes hear what they want to hear. As the story is passed from person to person people forget to stick to the FACTS & the TRUTH can get lost in translation. If you don't have personal knowledge from the source, don't spread the gossip.
   
3. Know When to Keep It Between Friends - It's easy to start a conversation with someone at a party or event & slip in a "harmless" remark about someone. A little gossip to a stranger can be a horrible mistake, one many people have made. Even when what you're saying is an "inside joke" between you & your friends, it may be offensive when mentioned in public. What is shared between friends should stay between friends, unless you’ve agreed that it can be shared with others.
   
4. Don't Take Sides - While you may believe that taking sides will show your loyalty, think about what happens when the people you're gossiping about get back together. Friendships & relationships have their ups and downs. They fight, they argue, they make up. The only person that loses many times is the person who took sides, especially when this was done when gossiping. You can't take back the things you've said.
   
5. Never Try to Get Back at Someone - This often happens when people break up. It can be a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, friendship or a family relationship. After the initial pain is gone, that’s when the claws come out. Don't use false rumors or negativity to get back at the person you're angry with. Break ups can be temporary, but badmouthing someone will definitely make it permanent. Think about that before you say anything.

For some these rules may seem easy. However if you're a full-fledged card carrying gossip, following these rules can be a daunting task. In fact you may have already lost some friends by breaking them. These habits die hard, but they can be overcome. Remember, people like hearing the GOOD STUFF too. Tell them about the great things going on in people's lives & stay away from the negative. Not only will that make you a better friend, in the end it will make you a happier & more positive person.

Ephesians 4:29 "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear."

Keep That Bone To Yourself

Ever been guilty of jumping on someone else's bandwagon before you knew the facts and the truth for yourself? I have been guilty of this. 

I've listened to other leaders rant and rave about someone they didn't "agree with" whether it was their theology, personality, leadership style or appearance. They had me sold on the fact that these people were "evil", "off in their thinking" and we all needed to steer away from "the likes" of them. 

I was naive and wanted to please them so I bought into their garbage rather than using my own brain and investigating for myself. 

I now know that if someone comes to you talking about someone else, they'll talk about YOU to someone else. A hard lesson learned. 

Time and experience has taught me that I ONLY have room in my life for COVENANT relationships. 

Never base your opinion of someone based on someone else's opinion.  Do your own due diligence and allow the Holy Spirit to lead you. Never talk ABOUT someone if you haven't talked TO them. 

God taught me that lesson and now, before I say anything critical of anyone I go over these three questions…

#1 DO I REALLY KNOW THIS PERSON?

Honestly, most of the criticism you face in life is from people who really don't KNOW you. It's easy for people to misconstrue something they hear or read and come to a "conclusion" without ever having the courage or courtesy to talk to you FACE to FACE.

Over the years, I've heard people crucify Joel Osteen on his television interview with Larry King.  He's been called a heretic and his faith called into question by people who don't even KNOW him. Friend, unless you KNOW Joel, unless you've talked to him for yourself...then it is idiotic to form an opinion of him based on a 30 second clip from a television show.

The bottom line is, unless you KNOW the person for yourself, have spent time with them and heard them share from their heart...be careful what you believe from other sources.

#2 WOULD I SAY THIS FACE TO FACE?

Probably not.  Most of the boldness you see from people today is on the Internet.  It has become a place for cowards, who do not have the love of Christ or the correct interpretation of Matthew 18:15-17, to hideout and bash anyone from behind their keyboard.  Most cowards think it's OK to send an anonymous email or place a comment on a blog with a fake email address.  You know what you should do with those? DELETE. :)

You may differ with someone's theology or even their methodology...but if you must disagree, do so one-on-one.  In doing so, you'll probably walk away having been stretched and challenged as to what they believe and why they believe it.

It takes GUTS to talk to someone face-to-face...anyone can blog, facebook or tweet.

#3 WILL I CAUSE DISSENSION WITH OTHERS?

According to Proverbs 6:16-19 God HATES it when someone does this.

You may have an opinion...we all do.  But God certainly hasn't released any of us to BLAST people publicly no matter how right we may feel we are.  By doing so, we release a firestorm against them which God hates.

Believe me...what you do to someone else...will eventually be done to you.  The world is watching...and when Christians cause Christians to get mad at other Christians...somehow I just don't believe God is pleased.

These are three questions you need to ask yourself BEFORE you jump on someone else's bandwagon, carry their bone or keep the tail wagging.

I have to be honest.  I've had my own share of attacks and some of them heartbreaking. Yet, in the midst of them, God's love has been so intimate and encouraging.  I know firsthand that you want to react, respond, lash out, vent and defend yourself.  However, just because you know something and could enlighten the world...that doesn't mean you should. (Refer to question 3.) 

Remember, we are all people who have to spend time on the potter's wheel repeatedly. I yearn for God's people to act like God's people...but then I remember that I'm flesh and blood too and am a work in progress.  

Stay focused on your assignment, look to Jesus and pray your way through. 

#YouGotThis

Keeping Confidences

This is a great read from Chuck Swindoll!

June 22, 2014

by Charles R. Swindoll

Psalm 141:3–4

Can you keep a secret?

Can you? Be honest, now. When privileged information passes through one of the gates of your senses, does it remain within the walls of your mind? Or is it only a matter of time before a leak occurs? When the grapevine requests your attention from time to time, do you refuse to help it climb higher, or do you encourage its rapid growth, fertilizing it by your wagging, unguarded tongue? When someone says, "Now this is confidential," do you respect their trust or ignore it . . . either instantly or ultimately?

The longer I live, the more I realize the scarcity of people who can be fully trusted with confidential information. The longer I live, the more I value those rare souls who fall into that category! As a matter of fact, if I were asked to list the essential characteristics that should be found in any member of a church staff or officer on a church board . . . the ability to maintain confidences would rank very near the top. No leader deserves the respect of the people if he or she cannot restrain information that is shared in private.

Our minds might be compared to a cemetery, filled with graves that refuse to be opened. The information, no matter how juicy or dry, must rest in peace in its coffin, sealed in silence beneath the epitaph "Shared in confidence—Kept in confidence."

You and I wouldn't give a plugged nickel for a doctor who ran off at the mouth. The same applies to a minister or an attorney or a counselor or a judge or a teacher or a secretary . . . or a close, trusted friend for that matter. No business ever grows and remains strong unless those in leadership are people of confidence. No school maintains public respect without an administration and faculty committed to the mutual guarding of one another's worlds. When leaks occur, it is often a sign of character weakness, and action is usually taken to discover the person who has allowed his or her mental coffin to be exhumed and examined.

Information is powerful. The person who receives it and dispenses it bit by bit often does it so that others might be impressed because he or she is "in the know." Few things are more satisfying to the old ego than having others stare wide-eyed, drop open the jaw, and say, "My, I didn't know that!" or "Why, that's hard to believe!" or "How in the world did you find that out?"

Solomon writes strong and wise words concerning this subject in Proverbs. Listen to his counsel:

Wise men store up knowledge,
But with the mouth of the foolish, ruin is at hand. (10:14)

When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable,
But he who restrains his lips is wise. (10:19)

He who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets,
But he who is trustworthy conceals a matter. (11:13)

The one who guards his mouth preserves his life;
The one who opens wide his lips comes to ruin. (13:3)

He who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets,
Therefore do not associate with a gossip. (20:19)

Like a bad tooth and an unsteady foot
Is confidence in a faithless man in time of trouble.

Like a city that is broken into and without walls
Is a man who has no control over his spirit. (25:28)

From now on, let's establish four practical ground rules:

1. Whatever you're told in confidence, do not repeat.
2. Whenever you're tempted to talk, do not yield.
3. Whenever you're discussing people, do not gossip.
4. However you're prone to disagree, do not slander.

Honestly now, can you keep a secret? Prove it.

No More Dramarama

If you've lived on this planet for any length of time you've discovered that there are some people who DELVE in DRAMA!  Not "dramas" as in movies, TV shows, etc., but rather "drama" as in the petty ridiculous conflicts that get blown way out of proportion for no reason at all.

This kind of drama can be defined as: "Making a big deal over something unnecessarily."

You would like to believe that petty social drama ends the day you leave high school, but sadly, this is not the case.  No matter how old some people are, they can still find ways of adding unnecessary conflict to their relationships, places of employment, church, home, etc.

Sadly, this kind of drama increases stress, ruins relationships and erodes the one thing that none of us can afford to waste...TIME.

The key to living with less stress, having better relationships and making the most of your limited time is to ELIMINATE as much of the drama from your life as you can.

Try this...

1. Never Assume

Assumptions are where drama starts.  Somebody does something that bothers you, and then you run off and start making assumptions about why they did it.  

What you observe someone doing is fact.  If that bothers you, then you need to deal with them face-to-face (one-on-one).  The moment you start making assumptions about their reasons or motives is the moment you move out of the realm of rational thought and into the world of unnecessary stress.

You have no way of truly knowing what a person is thinking or why they do the things they do.  Catch yourself when you start making those assumptions; if you want to live drama free, let those assumptions go and simply resolve to deal with the observable behavior.  Better yet, talk with the person face-to-face with the right spirit, at the right time and in the right place. 

2. Avoid Hearsay

Problems tend to increase exponentially with each additional person who is added to the communication chain.  If I hear you say something, I can be pretty sure of what I heard.  If Lucille tells me that Henry told Mildred that Chester heard Sally say something, chances are that the story you are hearing bears little resemblance to the actual truth.

Each additional person alters the story to some degree.  They may remember things differently.  They may add in emotion or verbiage that wasn't there before.  They may just be flat out wrong.

If you hear something through the grapevine, it might be worth investigating it.  But if you work yourself up into a frenzy based on third, fourth and fifth party communication, then you are just feeding the drama machine.

Never talk about someone until you talk with them.

Don't get pulled into this.  Skip hearsay all together and go straight for the horse's mouth.  It will save time and cut the drama factory way down.  

3. Be Direct

Drama is nothing more than a byproduct of our inability to communicate like logical, rational adults.  That's why it's so prevalent in High School. This is also why it should be totally unacceptable in the adult world.

If you have a problem with someone, talk to them about it.  If you believe that someone has a problem with you, talk to them about it.  Direct conversations nip drama in the bud.  This is not to say that direct conversations make all problems go away, but they will help you cut through the nonsense and deal with the real issue.

Relationship challenges begin and are compounded by passive agressive behavior and indirect communication.  Don't text it.  Don't email it.  Don't voice mail it.  Don't Facebook it.  Don't tweet it.  Go directly to the person and speak with them face-to-face.

4. Take the High Road

Never fight fire with fire.  When you find yourself the victim of some small offense, your first instinct may be to respond in kind.  While this may feel good for a moment, it usually just escalates the situation and makes everything worse.  If you truly want to live drama free, then you need to be willing to be the bigger person and let things go.

You don't need to get in the last word, you don't need to "one up" the other person, and you certainly don't need to make them pay for wronging you.  Just let it go, and watch the drama flow away.

5. Avoid Drama Queens

After you've made sure that you are not creating the drama yourself, the best way to keep your life drama free is to eliminate drama queens (or kings) from your life.

This is easy when you meet new people or are dealing with someone you aren't very close to.  Once you realize they are "drama prone," minimize (or if you can, eliminate) the interactions you have with them.

With people you are close to, have a long history with, or are related to, or who are genuinely good people who's one major flaw is their tendency to make a big deal over nothing, you don't have to cut them out of your life altogether.  Just acknowledge that quality about them and, when they start acting up, don't get pulled into their "drama tsunami."

We are products of our environment.  To live drama free, get as many drama creators out of your life as possible. 

Delete, Delete, Delete

You may never be able to eliminate all the drama from your life, but with just a little bit of focus and discipline you can certainly minimize how much you have in your life.  It's well worth doing - the less drama you have in your life, the more room you have for fun, joy and great relationships!

Ephesians 4:29 "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers."