MOOCHERS have nothing to lose...but you sure will. They are skillful in misleading you into believing that they have much to do with you, while they are mainly trying to get involved with you in order to get something from you in return.
Everyone knows people who have a tendency to sponge off other people - free riding has been a problem since the beginning of civilization. We also know people who get into jams and have to ask their friends and family for help. However, the MOOCHER takes it to the next level and makes a lifestyle out of it.
Someone's always covering their meals, gas, bills, etc. The MOOCHER will pay you back next week or so they say. They need fifty bucks just to tide them over. They promise they'll get it back to you.
When friends or family don't work out, the MOOCHER always has a backup: the boyfriend or girlfriend, who seems to be paying for everything in the relationship from rent, gas, clothes to food.
Even though a couple may be having financial problems, and both people in the home are needed to work, the MOOCHER is always putting off finding that job. Sure, there were some jobs, but none that the MOOCHER was "qualified" for. Yeah, they had a good paying one in that ad...but it wouldn't let the MOOCHER express creativity. So someone else has to bear the full load of the family finances, and the MOOCHER sits at home watching Oprah or playing X-box.
What should you do if you're a MOOCHER or if you have a MOOCHER in your life?
First, If you're a MOOCHER...GROW UP and TAKE RESPONSIBILITY of your own life. How long do you think you can continue to sponge off of people? Eventually, your friends and family will get tired of your ways and will distance themselves from you. Your relationships will suffer from the tension. The free ride won't last forever...and by your 30's or 40's you'll run out of ways to delay dealing with your own financial problems. You'll end up with no friends willing to give you any more help. The gravy train is coming to an end.
Supporting yourself is important because you'll end up better off in the long run. Taking care of your own responsibilities will advance you in life. People who sponge off of others tend to have jobs, not careers. They don't ever get ahead because they don't need to. But at some point in life, you're going to have to support yourself.
Try and then try again. The only thing you can do to help yourself is pay your own way. If you need more money, work for it and earn it. You'll end up having a lot more money in the long run that way.
Second, if you're a friend, STOP LENDING MONEY! Don't give into guilt trips by people who continue to take advantage of you. Draw a line...explain to them that "all this lending of money" is getting in the way of our friendship. If they get angry or refuse to associate with you, they probably weren't a real friend anyway.
If you feel you must give them money for some reason (emergency, health problem, etc.) - make it's a gift not a loan. A loan has the potential of breaking the friendship, because you're expecting your money back - and you may not get it. If it's a gift, then you control how much money you've lost. You don't have to give anymore. And it's a lot more obvious if your "friend" keeps coming back again and again that there wasn't a real emergency.
As Christians, we are often moved with compassion to help our brothers and sisters in need. We must never stop helping meet needs. However, we must also take responsibility of our stewardship...lest we end up losing all of our "stuff" while we're supporting "Jonah".
As a pastor, I often receive requests for assistance. It's my heart to minister to everyone within my reach. However, I've learned that my soft heart can fall prey to the same old "song and dance", if I'm not careful. It's difficult to discern the difference between legitimate or illegitimate requests. Therefore, a leadership team has been put in place so that requests for benevolence are taken out of my hands and placed in theirs.
I'll never forget, nearly 12 years ago when I first began to pastor at BFWC, a gentlemen knocked on the church door stating that his mother had died and he needed money for a bus ticket to Mobile, Alabama. I emptied my wallet on the spot and was moved to tears at his request. About a month or two later he showed up again and told me the same story again. I wised up and said, "your mother died again?" Needless to say, I quickly realized we needed a team to handle these delicate matters.
The church is not a bank. The church has strategic outreach plans in place to help with benevolent matters. The church is a caring place but it is also a maturing place. It is better for everyone, if we disciple our people in the fundamentals of practical and spiritual disciplines.
Also, every member of BFWC needs to keep their eyes open for unhealthy patterns. If you know someone within our family that is constantly taking advantage of others or fits the label of "MOOCHER" then wise up and correct that unhealthy pattern. DO NOT...and I REPEAT...DO NOT continue to give them money, loan them things, etc.
If the Spirit of the Lord compels you to...that's one thing. However, if you see them warming up to you or others and recognize their pattern, simply say no.
In a growing church, there are lots of needs. Also, be aware that the leadership of the church is probably not aware of people who are going around "sponging" off of members. If you are receiving requests from ANYONE in this house for money or assistance - please let them know that you're going to share their request with the leadership of the church.
(FYI: BFWC does not sanction or endorse it's people to approach anyone within our congregation for money.)
It has been my experience, that certain people will warm up to you, make you think you're their best friend, etc., just so they can get something from you in return. Friends...that is the spirit of witchcraft.
I admonish anyone reading this to take heed and use wisdom in how familiar you allow yourself to get with people.
- We are loving people.
- We are Christians.
- We are givers.
- We are helpers.
- We see a need and meet it.
- We are good employers and employees.
- We are responsible citizens.
However...
- We are not MOOCHERS.
- We do not take advantage of people.
- We do not manipulate people's feelings for our selfish gain.
If you're a MOOCHER, you've got to get ahold of yourself. If you interact with one, you have to set limits and stop enabling them. Nothing else is going to work.
2 Thessalonians 3:10 "For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: "if a man will not work, he shall not eat."
Proverbs 10:4 Lazy hands make a man poor, but diligent hands bring wealth.
Proverbs 6:9-11 How long will you lie there, you sluggard? When will you get up from your sleep? A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest - and poverty will come on you like a bandit and scarcity like an armed man.
Remember to share the love of Jesus in all you do. Look for the best in others. However, be aware of the MOOCHERS!
