I wouldn't say that we have a perfect marriage - for there is no perfect marriage - but I would say we have a growing marriage. Growth has brought change. Change has revealed a deeper understanding of relational dynamics.
After twenty years of marriage, I guess we could probably offer some humble advice to others. However, twenty years ago I don't believe our advice would have been received with much merit. It took time (growth and change) for us to develop an understanding of how a marriage relationship works. (At least ours anyway.)
We all go through times in our life where our advice is either received or rejected based upon the receptivity of those watching our life. It seems that we're more apt to receive instruction or advice from someone who has a proven track record than someone who has a reputation of being unstable.
When I'm looking for advice or coaching I tend to be drawn to people who model stability and longevity. As a pastor, I want to draw wisdom from other pastors whose track record is fruitful. I realize that they didn't get where they are overnight. It was a process of development that came through growth and change. As a husband, I want to draw wisdom from other men whose track record in their marriage is fruitful. The same can be said for people in business, leadership, etc.
Let's talk about that process for a minute. The prophet Isaiah spoke about being hidden in the Lord's quiver during his "prep" time. (Isaiah 49:2 And he hath made my mouth like a sharp sword; in the shadow of his hand hath he hid me, and made me a polished shaft, in his quiver hath he hid me.)
Each of us will have a "prep" time with God where we'll be hidden for a season of time so that when the time comes for us to be "introduced," as a model (minister, husband, wife, leader, parent, disciple, armorbearer, father/son, etc), our level of receptivity will be appealing to others.
When you first begin in ministry, one hurdle you'll have to jump over is public opinion. Public opinion can make you or break you. If you are perceived as immature, unpolished, opinionated or unstable it will be difficult to earn respect from your family, friends, co-workers or members of the body of Christ.
Apostle Paul instructed young Pastor Timothy "Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity." (1 Timothy 4:12) The fact that Timothy was "young" would require him to set a good example lest anyone should despise him as being too immature to discharge his duties.
If Timothy's congregation couldn't respect him, they wouldn't respect his message. Each of us have the ability to offset this perception by allowing the development process come to fruition in our lives during the "prep" time.
There is great power in setting a good example. Look at the thousands that have been led away because of the bad influence of a wicked preacher. How we conduct ourselves does matter. Are we setting examples of pure behavior, clean lives and moral conduct? The way we conduct ourselves will either lead souls to Christ or drive them away from Him.
As leaders and sons there is a long period in which we must remain hidden. It is a period of testing and maturation to prove us ready for our revelation to the world as sons. We must be hidden "in Christ" before we will ever be able to bring Christ to the world in any measure that reflects His person.
I think of Joshua when he was chosen by his tribe to represent them as a spy in the Canaan expedition. Evidently he was perceived as a leader or he wouldn't have been selected by his peers for this particular assignment.
However, what was the level of his influence? He had influence...just not enough at that time in his life to turn the negative report around. The ten prevailed with their negativity. They had more influence than he did. Perhaps his age was a factor. Perhaps the other men were more outspoken or skilled in persuasive speaking. Regardless, they had more influence than he.
Fast forward...Joshua serves his spiritual father, Moses, and is hidden as a leader in training. Years pass by. Battles are won and ground covered. Through it all, Joshua earns his stripes as a General in Moses' army and gains respect amongst his peers. Then and only then God pulls him out of his sheath...as a polished sword ready for display and ready to become a visible leader.
Look at Jesus. When He was twelve years old He was ready to be "about His Father's business." Yet, from age twelve to age thirty He is seemingly hidden. It's not until He turns thirty that we see Him walk into His Father's full purpose. Eighteen years, He remains hidden. Eighteen years of growing in wisdom and stature to gain favor with God and man.
Being a son does not give us the maturity or sanction to go forth in our father's name. We may be heirs to everything our father possesses but if we remain as children rather than enduring a process that leads to our growing up as sons, we will remain in bondage to the systems of religion rather than ordered relationship.
Do not bypass this important step! Until you allow the Lord to hide you in His quiver you'll not reach the next bench mark of development needed to become His displayed sword.
I have much more to share on this....
