So, you've been telling God, "I'm single." Guess what? He already knows. If you're single and desire to be married...my advice to you at this very moment is EMBRACE THIS SEASON, ask the Lord to GROW you and SHOW you the areas where you need to be a better follower of Him. Also, ask Him to prepare you for your future mate.
If God was a Genie in a bottle and granted you a mate at this very moment...what would that mate say about you? One of two things..."thank you Lord" or "why me Lord?" Asking the Lord to refine you or shape you as a single will make you a better spouse.
When it comes to dating, certainly there needs to be parameters. If you don't set some parameters now...it will be too late when the hour of temptation is staring you in the face.
#1 No Negotiation!
- Truth be told, the ladies will have to deal with this first. She starts out telling her friends and family that she's looking for Mr. Right. However, she can easily settle for Mr. Right Now when she looks in her closet and sees that she has been a bridesmaid 25 times and never the bride.
- Ladies...do not negotiate away your principles!
- If you're having to defend the guy you are dating, then you already know you've drifted away from your standard.
- By the way, if a man is not pursuing you in a GODLY manner...then TELL JONAH TO GET OFF YOUR BOAT!
- He has no business touching you inappropriately! You are a TREASURE...not a TRAMP!
- Fight for your PURITY! If a man won't fight with you for purity before you are married, then there is a greater chance they won't fight for purity after you are married.
- If they are trying to get you to compromise with what God's Word says so clearly before marriage...what makes you think they won't do the same even after marriage?
#2 Keep your head on straight!
- If you think for a moment that marriage will solve the struggles you're facing right now while you're dating...you are dead wrong! Marriage is a MAGNIFIER! Whatever is a small deal right now when you're dating will be an even bigger issue once your enter into COVENANT RELATIONSHIP!
- You better make sure this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.
- Keep your head on your shoulders and think this through!!!
- You cannot change them...you are not the Holy Spirit.
- If you have to defend him/her to the people who know you, love you and love Jesus...then check your spirit immediately!
- If you avoid talking about him/her in front of the people in your life that you know may disapprove of the relationship for some reason then perhaps God is trying to make it obvious through others that you need to rethink this relationship.
#3 Slow Down!
- What's the hurry? If you're going to enter into a GODLY relationship with the person God has prepared for you...then why rush?
- Time is the great leveler...if this is not the person God wants you to be with you'll find out in the stretch.
- Anyone can fool anyone for a short period of time. It's in the process of time that the newness of the relationship will wear off and you'll find out if what you have is the real deal or not.
- If they lie to you before you are married, then they will lie to you in marriage.
- If you cannot confront them about issues without them losing their temper...they'll do the same thing when you're married...but worse!
- If you discover they've been unfaithful...guess what??? They'll continue to be unfaithful once you're married.
- When couples are in a rush to get married it is usually because they are trying to hide something from the other person or because they just want to have sex!
#4 Be Yourself!
- Who are you kidding? Trying to be someone you're not will only end in a train wreck. Be yourself. Tell the truth about who you are...period. If you are lying about who you are to date someone...you need to break up today!
- Be honest and do not enter any relationship lying just so you can be with that person.
- If you're afraid to break up because you would feel insecure...then you've allowed yourself to be identified by the person you're dating rather than WHO YOU ARE in Christ!
#5 Steer clear of people who have a worse track record than you!
- Find people who are successful in a marriage relationship and ask them for advice.
- Why in the world would you ask a single person for marriage advice? Why would you ask someone who has been through three marriages how to have a relationship?
- Friends, we need to do more than read a book on relationships or quote a few Scriptures!
- If you want to know how to have a successful relationship...ask those who have one.
As you consider dating...I want to encourage you to set your standard high. In fact, if you don't see yourself marrying this person...you shouldn't date them. You can find plenty of fellowship from your friends at church to keep you company...who will also help keep your testimony in tact.
