The Scriptures tell us that "a man that hath friends, shows himself friendly." (Proverbs 18:24)
I'm not sure who said it, but I remember hearing that LIFE is kind of like a party. You invite a lot of people, some leave early, some stay all night, some laugh with you, some laugh at you and some show up really late. But in the end, after the fun, there are a few who stay to help you clan up the mess. And most of the time, they aren't even the ones who made the mess. These people are your REAL FRIENDS in life. They are the ones who probably matter the most.
Do you need some real friends? Then throw a party and see who shows up! No, seriously - the truth is we simply need to BE A FRIEND and we'll end up with some great friends in our life.
1. Friends face life together. Anyone who really knows you and loves you will be able to identify with what you're going through. They are able to discern the pain in your eyes when everyone else sees the smile on your face. A real friend will help you face the problems of life.
- A friend loves at all times, and is born, as is a brother, for adversity. Proverbs 17:17
2. Friends give from a caring heart. Sadly, many people choose friends based on what they can GET from the other person rather than what they can GIVE. We all want to be around someone who will make us feel good. However, the only way a REAL RELATIONSHIP will last and bring us long-term joy is when we approach our relationships as a place we go to GIVE and not just a place we go to TAKE. It's not wrong to take something from a relationship as long as both friends are practicing "give & take."
- No one has greater love [no one has show stronger affection] than to lay down (give up) his own life for his friends. John 15:13
3. Friends spend time together. We can't live in the virtual world of facebook, twiiter, etc., and expect social media time to establish a REAL RELATIONSHIP. Real relationships require FACE TIME...NOT facebook! If you have to fight for a spot in someone's schedule than perhaps there's no room for you in their life. Never force someone to make a space in their life for you, because if they truly care about you, they will create one for you.
- The man of many friends [a friend of all the world] will prove himself a bad friend, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24
4. Friends share open communication. The only way a friendship will last is if it has great communication. You have to be able to "talk it out" rather than keep it "bottled up." Real relationships allow for open communication about real feelings.
- Oil and perfume rejoice the heart; so does the sweetness of a friends counsel that comes from the heart. Proverbs 27:9
5. Friends love you for who you are. Acceptance is very important in any relationship. Trying to change a person never works. People know when they are not accepted in their entirety - and it hurts. A real friend is someone who truly knows you and loves you just the same. Don't change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you. If you feel like changing something about your friend, ask yourself what change you can make in yourself instead.
- As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend. Proverbs 27:17
6. Friends find middle ground. Real friends meet in the middle. Even if there's a disagreement, they work out a solution that works for both. Friendship is all about being willing to find middle ground rather than a need for the other person to change or completely give in.
- If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him - work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you've made a friend. Matthew 18:15
7. Friends believe in you. We all need someone in our life that will believe in us and be willing to show it through their words and deeds. Regardless of your upbringing - functional or dysfunctional - studies show that if you grew up having someone in your life that believed in you - you are more likely to be happy and successful. Believing in someone can extend to supporting their dreams, passions and hobbies. Believing in them will also trigger participating with them, cheering for them and being a voice of encouragement. Even if you never achieve a certain goal, just knowing that someone believes in you will push you forward towards that goal.
- Without good direction, people lose their way; the more wise counsel you follow, the better your chances. Proverbs 11:14
8. Friends love you when you're unlovely. No one is happy all the time. A friend will have a realistic expectation of you. A friend will understand when you need space or just an ear to listen. They understand the parameters of the relationships and will seek to give you extra grace when you aren't being very graceful.
- Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes and fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening]. 1 Corinthians 13:7
9. Friends will listen to what you're really saying. People don't need lots of advice, they need a listening ear and some positive reinforcement. Most of the time, when we share our heart with a friend, we aren't looking for an answer, we're looking for an outlet to think out loud, breathe and even explore ideas in a safe environment. Giving a person a voice, and showing them that their words matter, will have a long-lasting impact on them.
- Understand [this], my beloved brethren. Let every man be quick to hear [a ready listener], slow to speak, slow to take offense and to get angry. James 1:19
10. Friends seek to honor one another. Everyday we have the opportunity to make our relationships sweeter and deeper by making small gestures to show our appreciation and affection. A simple smile can change someone's day. Kindness and gratitude matters. It's all too easy to take someone for granted - it's very important (in any relationship) that we notice all the wonderful things people do and then let them know that they are appreciated.
- Love one another with brotherly affection [as members of one family], giving precedence and showing honor to one another. Romans 12:10
11. Friends keep their word. Our word means everything. If we say we're going to do something...then we need to DO IT. If we say we're going to be somewhere...then BE THERE. If we can't, won't and don't then DON'T LIE! Real friends keep promises and tell the truth upfront.
- But he who keeps (treasures) His Word [who bears in mind His precepts, who observes His message in its entirety], truly in him has the love of and for God been perfect (completed, reached maturity). By this we may perceive (know, recognize, and be sure) that we are in Him: 1 John 2:5
12. Friends stick around like a bad penny. The reality of friendships today is that there are some people who will only be there for you as long as you have something they need. When you no longer serve a purpose to them, they will leave. The good news is, if you tough it out, you'll eventually weed these people out of your life and be left with some great people you can count on. We rarely lose friends, we just gradually figure out who our real ones are.
- Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. Romans 14:19
