Monday, July 24, 2023

God Wants To Heal Fatherless Sons

This is indeed the season of sons & daughters returning to fathers. If you have been a son or daughter & have a broken relationship with your spiritual father, reconciling that relationship will bring healing.

Perhaps in the past, you may have had a spiritual father in words but not in heart/actions. Don't be dismayed. There are REAL fathers out there...maybe not in surplus...but ones with huge hearts who can heal your brokenness. But fathers can only invest into those whose pride is removed & allow that investment to come to them.

The spiritual fathering relationship is more than getting some counsel from time to time, or being another number in a network, or just another stop in a preaching circuit. THAT IS NOT FATHERING. A spiritual father invests into the life & purposes of their sons & daughters. They do this unreservedly & not based on the return from the son or daughter. They see their hidden potential & see it fully healthy & functioning. There are many claiming sons & daughters with no real relationship & the motive is not for the betterment of the person but to add numbers to their own tribe. The motive is wrong so the actions are also. This leaves a bad taste in my mouth as many are getting only a portion of fathering without full investment.

All spiritual fathering relationships are required to have the expectations in them understood by all involved. They have safeguards in place as well to make sure things do not get off base.

If Jesus could only father the 12, Paul had less, and Timothy was instructed to look to find them...then fathering is limited in the number you can truly be effective with.

In the past decade, spiritual fathering has become another buzz word. I have seen many claiming sons who never spent any time investing in them but “absorbed” them already matured to claim they have sons. Or they absorbed them into their network without really helping to perfect them in the faith. To me, this is having the rewards & affirmation of peers, over the reward of seeing a son or daughter blossom.

Relationships change as seasons of fathering are completed. You can have 50-60-100 sons but you probably are only truly fathering a handful into the very depths of fathering at any one time, because if done right, like natural fathering, there comes a day when they stand on their own and have grown up. You will always be their father but it will change in function.

I've personally witnessed sons & daughters who have been sent (not went) & are doing great things for God. They recognize the investment that has been made in their life & they reconnect through reciprocity because of the motion of God in their ministry. I am also seeing many prodigals or those who got disconnected in the process return home.

God leaves space for this to happen. As a father, who loves deeply, I can attest that when you keep your heart connected to your spiritual children, no matter how you were treated, God will bring a holy conviction for things to be done right.

Maybe you're waiting on some specific ones today. Perhaps you're waiting with faith and expectation for their heart to turn. My prayer is that it won’t take calamity like I've witnessed.

See, once the spiritual fathering relationship is started, the father’s heart is always there for their sons & daughters. Once I start a relationship, I have already decided that I will give the investment needed, the time required & the privileges I will give.

From my experience, most of the time, sons & daughters are coming from an orphaned spirit. Perhaps their relationship with their natural dad is skewed. Perhaps they have been spiritually rejected, deemed of no value or pushed aside. These things are the second things I begin to press into to see them get healed & whole.

Without these things complete in them, then all other perspectives & perceptions are really out of focus. THERE MUST BE HEALING.

These areas are probably the reason for the relationship. IDENTITY is also a large part of this second step. Without a proper identity, you may never function correctly as function comes from identity not identity coming from function.

This reversal is a hard one for most sons & daughters as they have always performed to have a place in the ‘pecking order’. For them to see the value of who they are to God takes time.

This is the real heart of fathering. Patience. Long suffering. Right perceptions. This step is about helping the person to become whole in the midst of their confusion, perceptions, & self determined value.

The third step is the step of RELEASING POTENTIAL.

Giving opportunities for that potential to come forth & walking out life together. It is about helping with mistakes together & learning together. This is where ministry truly begins to happen & the person’s ability to rise above their past & into the future becomes present in their life.

What I'm sharing is really a broad stroke of the paint brush. There are many moving parts in the Father/Son relationship. Some of these steps occur at the same time. Some will need to be done in a set order. Each relationship is different & requires truly knowing the heart of God for the person & having vision for who they are to God.

Spiritual fathering is an art form more than a taught way of ministry. You cannot necessarily read about it in a book & do it but it comes from a heart that has been formed over TIME.

God wants to HEAL fatherless sons.
Check out my newest book, "Five-Fold Fathering" at