Sexual Temptation - My Friend...The Guardrail (Part 2)

The guardrail - designed to keep you from straying into a dangerous area. (read more about guardrails in part 1)

Another area where we need a GUARDRAIL is with temptation...especially SEXUAL TEMPTATION.

Think you're exempt?  It's out there and it's going to try to get you to yield to it regardless of who you are.  What are you going to do when it hits?  It's time to decide NOW! 

Do you know someone who is being tempted sexually?  Perhaps it's you.  Whoever it is...you're going to need the following GUARDRAILS in place:

1. Know the difference between the truth and a lie! - Say this with me..."The Devil is a liar!"  The Word of God declares the devil to be a liar.  (John 8:44) He will attempt to offer you a counterfeit and not the REAL THING.  He'll tell you to go ahead and "have that affair!"  Friend...how many people do we have to see go down this road of destruction before we learn to keep our clothes on?

2. Quit making excuses! - It seems so many people want to use David as an excuse!  Seriously?  They say, "David committed adultery and was called a man after God's own heart."  Yes...but he repented (which means he turned away from his sin instead of diving deeper into it and then screaming that people needed to show him grace!)  He also had sexual sin in his family for generations, had a daughter raped and a son rebel against him.  DO NOT BE FOOLISH and think that your children are not going to suffer the consequences all because you were more passionate about "living a loose lifestyle" than Jesus.  Instead of using David as an excuse...look to Joseph for an example!

3. Reach out! - Don't deal with temptation alone.  Ask for help!  Seek help from someone you know that loves Jesus and loves you too.  If you don't get help - it's going to get WORSE!  Men...you need Godly men around you!  CONFESS your problem and then SUBMIT to their leadership.

4. Quit blaming others! - Have you messed up and you're blaming others for it?  If you'll listen to the people who sincerely love you and want to try to protect you, your marriage and your church then DON'T SCREAM that they and the church turned their back on you when it was actually you that decided to fornicate or commit adultery.  You are NOT THE VICTIM once you decide to commit sin...and sin has consequences.  And that's not being judgemental...its simply declaring the truth!

• By the way...your "friends" aren't the ones who rally around you and affirm your sin...they are the ones that DO love you, do beg God for you to repent, do speak truth and do hurt for you more than you know!  And...the church didn't turn its back on you when you sinned...you turned your back on her!!!

5. Guard your Integrity! - I promise you...sexual sin is not going to give you long term satisfaction!  If you are a pastor, leader, minister, etc and think that you can have sexual relations with a man/woman in your church then you've got to understand that what attracted him/her to you (integrity, Godly character, etc.) is now SHATTERED the minute you had sexual relationship with him/her...and sooner than you think, the scales will come off their eyes and they will see what you really are.

Does God forgive sexual sin?  YES INDEED!  He is a God who loves unconditionally!  But HEAR ME...God's work is too important for any one of us to sell out for MOMENTARY PLEASURE!  We've got to FIGHT...we've got to RUN from this temptation!

• 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 18 Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. 19 Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? 20 For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body[a] and in your spirit, which are God’s.

One final thought...Jesus didn't die on the cross so people that claim to follow Him could run around and have sexual relationships with whoever they want and then scream "GRACE" and "you're being judgemental" when people point out their sin and attempt to set up a restoration process! 

God help us keep integrity in our ministries and marriages!  The cross of Jesus is too important to sell out for sex!  I emplore everyone to keep these things in mind when temptation comes knocking on your door.

A local shepherd,

Pastor Hylton

My Friend...The Guardrail (Part 1)

When I was a kid my parents would take us to Kentucky to visit their families.  My Dad's family is from an area called "Rockhouse" and my mother's family is from an area called "Greasy Creek."  Both of these areas are in Pike County, Kentucky and each are nestled in the Appalachian mountains.

In those days (70's) the fastest way to reach both sides of the family was to travel across those mountains. At times, traveling was treacherous because the roads were dirt, filled with rocks and there were NO GUARDRAILS!  

Guardrails are designed to keep you from straying into a dangerous area.  Next time you drive on the interstate, see if you can guess how many miles those guardrails run.  Guardrails are there to keep you safe.

Now think of how God uses spiritual guardrails to guide and protect us.  I guess one way we could view it is that a guardrail is a "standard of behavior that becomes a matter of conscience." 

We need guardrails to keep us from ever going "too far" or from moving in a dangerous direction.

Guard your Friendships - We all need friends.  Friends shape us and help us grow.  However, there are times when you need to put a guard up to protect your future from unhealthy friendships.  Often, our biggest regrets are made in the company of our closest friends.

Proverbs 13:20 says, "Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm." 

Walk with the wise and become wise.  The warning is to avoid walking with fools.

We monitor our children's friendships for this very reason. Parents often can discern when something isn't "right" with a friendship and for that reason may not allow their children to spend time with certain kids in school. 

We must exercise the same caution as adults.

Guard your Marriage -  Couples need couples to fellowship with.  When you were single you had friends that followed you into your marriage.  Sometimes those friendships are with people of the opposite sex - making the relationship somewhat awkward.  Couples can have a difficult time finding couples with whom both you and your spouse get along well with.  Sometimes the husbands or wives do not mesh.  In other, potentially more confusing situations, the wife and husband within each couple may "click" more than the wife-wife or husband-husband.

I believe it is important for husbands and wives to each have a "same-gendered" friend for counsel and accountability.  The most important friendship is with GOD, then you and your spouse.  Protect your marriage at all costs!

Do you have guardrails in your life?  Here's some guardrails we should consider:

1. Direction - are the friends you run with moving in the same direction that you are?  If not, you may want to do something about it now rather than wait till there's a problem.  Perhaps you need to reach out and invest in additional or a new group of people.  Remember what Solomon said, "companions of fools will cause suffering and harm."

2. Be Yourself - if you're with a group of friends and inside your heart you know you're not "being yourself" when you're with them - then you are probably pretending to be someone you are not.  If you find yourself acting differently when you're around a certain group of people, then you may want to consider pulling back from these relationships.

3. No Compromise - Do the people you run with cause you to ignore your values or try to rationalize sin?  A true friend will point you in the direction of what is right, good and righteous. Some people end up going into clubs and bars that they would have declared as "off-limits" before.  We should FLEE sin and immorality, not see how close we can get.  If you're being put in a position to compromise than you are just TOO CLOSE!  You never know when things could get out of hand.  You could do something you regret or be guilty by association.

4. Godly Fear - this will spring up inside of you especially when you begin to think about the people you care about the most who would be shocked and saddened if they knew where you were, what your were doing or who you were doing it with.  Without Godly fear you will make your mind work overtime to try to conjure an excuse, explanation or rationalization to have readily available if needed.

The bottom line is we need to use WISDOM and seek to do what is RIGHT at all times.

What do you do when people you know crash through the guardrail?  Often we are reluctant to handle situations because of our relational connection with our friends and family.

We even tell ourselves "I'm just being a Christian and showing acceptance, compassion or love by staying in this relationship."  You may even think "But I really love these people...Jesus modeled that we should love people."

These are SLY LIES from the depths of Hell.  You are using compassion or love as an excuse for inaction.  You are lying to yourself.  This is not about your family and friends...it's about YOU!

NEVER confuse compassion and wisdom; they do not compete with each other.  Compassion should NEVER require you to make an UNWISE decision for yourself or in your friendships/relationships.

The best thing you can do in life is stay on the correct side of the guardrail.  This is where you MODEL CHRIST'S HEART.  When people "crash" or get "caught" in their sin...your friend will probably run to you first.  You will be the "go-to person".  It is in these moments where you have a true opportunity to witness with extraordinary wisdom, compassion, help, insight and love.  By withdrawing from the relationship(s), you allow yourself to be healthy and ready for these opportunities.

On a final note...GOD DOESN'T BLESS A MESS.  Be aware of the guardrails that our Heavenly Father has put in place.

• Don't get mad at the guardrail - it's designed to keep you safe and could very well SAVE your life.