17 Years Ago Today

17 years ago today, my little family arrived in Indianapolis with a dream in our heart for BFWC and our community.  Today, that dream is being realized even more than we could have ever hoped!  To think that God would call two "Buckeyes" into "Hoosier" country and plant us in the center of His will is overwhelming and humbling.

I honestly spend more time looking ahead than I do behind.  I am truly thankful for tenure and longevity because it speaks of commitment, tenacity and the grit to not quit when you experience the variables of ministry.  

God has been SO GOOD to us and like Apostle Paul, we're incredibly thankful that God has enabled us and counted us faithful by putting us into the ministry. (1 Timothy 1:12)

Ministry is a JOY not a JOB.  However, sometimes it will feel like a job before it's a joy.  In the past 17 years, of pastoral ministry, we've been blessed to meet some of the finest people in the world. We've grown personally, emotionally and spiritually.  I've come to realize that regardless of how much formal training you receive in ministry, there is nothing that can take the place of hands on experience.

If you're a new pastor or have just stepped up to serve in ministry in any capacity - allow me to humbly share a few things I've learned along the way.

1. Learn how to relax in your own skin.  God called you to be who you are and not someone else.  Resist the urge to compare yourself to other pastors or leaders. Resist the urge to try to minister like someone else. Be yourself!  Whether you preach, teach or "treach"...just be you! God called YOU to be YOU...not what other people or even "ministry personality/culture" called you to be! Don't try to make things happen...let them happen.
   
   
2. It takes time to feel like you're actually "pastoring" the church.  People may call you pastor, out of respect for your office, but there will come a definite moment when you'll feel like you're actually pastoring the church.  Don't rush this...it will happen naturally.  Some people will only trust you after a really long time of proving yourself, and another group will never trust you no matter what you do. Just remain focused on VISION. People are drawn to VISION and those who are determined to cause DIVISION will lose their influence.
   
   
3. You'll only have as much spiritual authority as you're willing to submit yourself to.
   Submission brings freedom and promotion.  Independence is a train wreck waiting to happen.  You cannot ask your people to submit to your leadership if you are unwilling to submit to those over you.  A good soldier can take orders from any commander.  Even if you submit to people who aren't "doing right" themselves, God will honor your commitment to His Word and protect you from snares.
   
   
4. Wolves aren't the only ones who bite.  Sheep bite too.  Although their bite don't kill...the gnawing can make life miserable sometimes.  Don't let your emotions get the best of you.  Walk out in front of your flock...pushing from behind will frustrate you and exhaust your energy.  Expect to be bitten. Stay focused on your VISION and do not exhaust your efforts trying to put out fires and giving ear to murmuring.
   
   
5. The life of a minister/leader can be lonely at times.  If you are called to lead people, you cannot be their best friend too.  God will give you strength during the lonely times and send you relational encouragement.  Cherish the friends God gives you and nourish those relationships. It may take years for you to achieve relational covenant that can be trusted...but it will come to you and be more precious than you could imagine.
   
   
6. Don't make hasty decisions on Monday mornings.  Sometimes your brain will feel like oatmeal after a weekend of ministry.  You'll be tempted to double guess your message, leadership and capability.  The good news is...Monday will pass!  We've all thought about quitting...and that's OK.  Years ago, Tommy Barnett said, "You can think about quitting as long as you know you won't!"  That stuck with me and has helped me many times in the past 17 years.
   
   
7. Keep on preaching the truth regardless of how many people get upset at you.  You're called to proclaim the Word - not necessarily to defend or debate it.  Preach with passion and leave the results to God.  Early on in my ministry, I thought it was my fault when people would continue in poor patterns of behavior. But God eventually showed me that people must want to change if they are going to be able to change at all. My job was to give them God's truth. Their job was to commit to obeying God's truth.
   
   
8. Take a vacation.  You're not superman.  You'll be no good to your family or church if you're beat down.  Schedule a day during the week when you can unwind, get out of the office and avoid dealing with church issues if at all possible.  Sitting on the couch and watching a movie with your family can do you a world of good!  If you don't set your schedule...other people will.
   
   
9. Make wise hiring choices. When looking for potential staff members, loyalty & integrity are the some of the most important characteristics.  You will also want to consider people who have a great work ethic and who ask "why not?" instead of "why?" I've learned that I would much rather hire someone who has character over charisma anytime!  Some people just want an opportunity to advance themselves. When they're finished with you...they'll leave as fast as they came without regard to anyone but themselves. Release them quickly and remain open to God on who to pour into next. God will bless you with true covenant relationships that will outlive you...which is exactly what leadership should be.
   
   
10. Celebrate the victories. After you've completed a big assignment CELEBRATE.  Giving everyone an ice cream cone is a fun way to say "thank you!"  Send thank you cards or appreciation to your key leaders and try to take a breather before the next big event.  Talk about your VICTORIES more than your DEFEATS.
    
    

I'm thankful for the "tribe" of people in our life that have loved us with an authentic love! God knows we all need that kind of love in our lives, and that kind of love is beautifully experienced through His body...THE CHURCH.

Are You Position Hungry?

Peter said, "we have left everything to follow you Jesus! What's in it for us?" (Matthew 19:27)
Jesus responds by telling a story about laborers in the vineyard. (Matthew 20)
...The owner of the vineyard went at the 1st hour (6 AM) to find workers for the day. He offered them an agreed upon wage for the day. 
...Altogether, four groups of workers were hired, the last group just one hour before the end of the day.
...When the time came for the wages to be paid, the first group of workers saw the last group being paid the same thing that they were promised. Their anger against the landowner became obvious. They felt entitled to receive more because they had been there longer, even though they got exactly what they had agreed upon when they were hired.
Longevity doesn't determine position. God puts people where He sees fit. (1 Corinthians 12:11) 
We are all called to serve in the Body of Christ. Where we serve is up to Him...not us. Our tenure is not a badge we wear that let's people know, "Hey, I've been here longer than you." 
Ministry is a ROAD you travel, not a LADDER you climb.  
We serve WHEREVER and WHENEVER He determines. There is no place in the body of Christ for envy. It's like people who get upset if they don't get asked to "preach" while others are content if they never get asked. It's simply knowing WHERE you are in Christ and doing WHAT He has called you to do with EXCELLENCE!  
Whatever you do for Jesus...HE GET'S THE GLORY! ... NOT YOU!
If you have to politic for a position...you'll have to politic to keep it. Friends, we do not operate that way.

• We get down low...to be lifted high.
• We serve...like Jesus.
• We don't boast...only in Christ.
• We don't say "look at me!"...we say, "look at Jesus."
• We don't measure ourselves against others.
• We don't brag about our accomplishments & anointing.
• We don't "big talk"...we talk big about Jesus.
• We wash feet.
• We wait tables.
• We do the unnoticed things.
• We are not to be seen.
• We are to be invisible so He can be visible.
• We don't toot our own horn.
• We don't declare that we are going to be great...we declare that He is.

Quit running after TITLES and POSITIONS. You don't need the title or position to fulfill your destiny!  
God will use you immeasurably if you'll just be CONTENT in your own skin. Your gift will make room for you and you'll EXPAND to the CAPACITY your MATURITY can handle.
Now hold out your hand and receive the wage you agreed to. :)

5 Practical Things Concerning Hiring Staff

I'm asked all the time by pastors across this nation, "What do you look for in a potential staff member?" Well, here are some things I consider:

1. DO THEY HAVE THE HEARTBEAT OF THE HOUSE? 

Have they BOUGHT into the vision of the house or are they using the house to fulfill their own vision. Are they looking for a POSITION? Are they looking for a PAYCHECK? You can fill ANY position with a "staff member", but if you can fill it with a "SON"...you'll be miles ahead and save yourself a lot of headaches.

2. DO THEY SPEAK THE SAME LANGUAGE YOU DO? 

Are they speaking the "family language" or their own "individual language"? Son's will say "we, us & ours", but hirelings will say "mine, my & me." Pay close attention to the way they speak. Son's will promote their fathers and their house...not themselves or their own "team". Sons will introduce their family & friends UPWARD, not INWARD.

3. DO THEY PROMOTE THEMSELVES OR THE WHOLE? 

Are they generous with their compliments and kudos, or do they hoard to themselves recognition? Are they concerned with being seen? Do they speak about EVERYONE with joy, or do they only congratulate themselves?

4. ARE THEY OPEN TO INSTRUCTION? 

The true test of a son is if they will stay with you after correction. If they 'buck up" when corrected or cannot receive from delegated authority...they are NOT A SON, and they will cause division once they feel they've gained enough "relationships" with others.

5. ARE THEY A HARD WORKER? 

You don't need any loafers on your team! If they're a volunteer before you hire them...then you'll already know their patterns. Watch how they work with YOU and with OTHERS. Do they complain about the work? Are they always dropping hints about how tired they are and when is quitting time? Believe me, if you hire them...they'll probably be the last to show up and the first to leave...AND always calling off! (Lord have mercy...lol) Anyone you hire should OUT WORK you!

That's five PRACTICAL things...obviously there are SPIRITUAL things I consider...more to come!

Just Do Right

Genesis 4:7 "If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it."

Is it really that difficult to DO THINGS RIGHT?

We don't really know why God didn't accept Cain's offering, except that God looks upon the heart. This verse tells us that Cain's heart was NOT RIGHT with God when he gave the offering. It was not the gift itself, as we later see acceptable grain offerings in the days of Moses. Cain's offering was a representation of his HEART. He did not do what was right in his heart, and so, his offering was not accepted.

One sin leads to another. That is the warning God gave Cain. In fact, like a lion waiting to devour us, sin waits to devour our lives. The loving heart of God reached out to Cain with the warning that sin would like to dominate him, to be the authority over him, bringing him to destruction. But then God told Cain the correct response is to MASTER it. Don't let it master you.

God has been LONG SUFFERING to you and given you opportunity after opportunity to make a course correction.

Is there sin crouching at your door, waiting to dominate your life? Master it! Don't allow it to master you!

We master it, just as Cain could have, by looking to the work of the Seed to come...the SAVIOR! Because of what Jesus did, we can master it! His resurrected life gives us the power to master it rather than be devoured by it.

Cain was about to plot a murder because of jealousy!

Read the verse again. Think about how this verse applies to you each time that you give in to temptation. You can STOP the cycle or go deeper into it.

Consider: If you are caught in a cycle of sin, you can still master it by the power of the risen Christ, the Seed that CRUSHED the rule of Satan!

Allow Jesus to CRUSH...

• Rebellion
• Jealousy 
• Envy
• Disobedience
• Pride
• Etc.,

Rid your heart of...

• Disobedience
• Roughshod
• Bad Attitude

God is ABLE to receive your sacrifice in the RIGHT WAY if your heart is RIGHT.

JUST DO RIGHT! (It's really not that hard.)

It's All About Relationships

Life never tells you when it's going to teach you a new lesson.  I've seldom ever been able to plan for it.  It likes to sneak up on me when I least expect it.  This is especially true when it comes to RELATIONSHIPS.  With that being said, there have been a few times in my personal and professional relationships that I wish the lesson would have come a little earlier.  It would have saved me from some heartache and wasted time.

However, I'm GRATEFUL for every lesson my relationships have taught me because I'm now better equipped to deal with rough patches when they arise.  

Here are 7 REMINDERS of how to see the GOOD in every situation:

1 We all have a STRUGGLE!

• Everyone has struggles.  We don't know exactly how another person is feeling or what kind of emotional battle they're fighting.
• Before you pass judgment, consider that everyone faces a battle that they have learned to hide behind a smile.

2. Overlook the CRITICS!

• No matter what you do or how well you do, there will always be those who are critical of you.
• Do not let naysayers stop you from becoming what God has destined for you to be!
• If you want to be a singer...then sing!
• If you want to build a business...then build it!
• If you want to have a family...then have it!
• I've learned that it's a lot easier to be CRITICAL than it is to be CORRECT!
• Spend more time with the people who SUPPORT you than those who DISCREDIT you!

3. DETOX!

• Holding on to resentment and grudges is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to grow ill.  It's TOXIC to your spirit!
• Ease your BURDENS by letting go of resentment!
• If you feel them starting to stir back up, STOP and CONSIDER that there's nothing that can be gained by bringing yourself down over what you cannot control!
• Tell the GHOSTS of YESTERDAY that the haunted house is closed!
• Forget about getting even with someone who HURT you, instead get even with those who have HELPED you!

4. FORGIVE!

• When you've been hurt it's hard to be at peace. But you do it anyway because you know peace is the only battle worth waging!  Peace is BEAUTIFUL!  Peace is the manifestation of your LOVE and the best foot forward to a brighter FUTURE!
• Being peaceful isn't always easy.  In fact, I think it's much harder than being ANGRY or VENGEFUL!  It requires you to STAY CALM and LET GO of the pain!
• It requires you to FORGIVE & MOVE ON!
• You don't do it for the person that hurt you...you do it for you!

5. WORK for it!

• No matter if it's a FRIENDSHIP or an INTIMATE relationship, when someone loves you...you'll KNOW it!  It's in the way they LOOK at you, SPEAK your name or EMBRACE you.  You know your SOUL is safe in their care.
• To me, it's much more than any physical interaction...it's a SILENT connection that you can feel in your veins.  You feel at HOME with them.  But this doesn't happen overnight.
• Relationships require growth and often that comes SLOWLY.  It's how two people TREAT each other, RESPECT each other and WORK together over a prolonged period of time...through the GOOD times and the BAD.

6. Embrace the IMPERFECTIONS!

• If you're still searching for perfection in others...please STOP!  You're not going to find it.  In fact, what you're going to find is more imperfections than Baskin Robbins has flavors. :)
• Realize that YOU are just as imperfect as the people who are in your life.  The key to embracing imperfection is finding someone whose imperfections COMPLIMENT your own.
• It takes a lot of LIVING and LIFE EXPERIENCE to realize your own imperfections! Over time, you discover your greatest FLAWS and the QUIRKS that make you, YOU!
• Quite honestly, it's only after you learn those imperfect parts of your own self that you know what your looking for in others!  Someone whose SCARS and FLAWS fit your own...someone who's IMPERFECT in the perfect way for you.

7. Have faith in the POSITIVES!

• Be careful not to continuously doubt the POSITIVES in others while ignoring your own NEGATIVES!
• There is purpose for everyone you will ever meet.  Some will TEST you, some will TEACH you and some will bring out the very BEST in you!

All relationships require PATIENCE and WORK!  Nothing is flawless.  No matter...there will always be difficulties present, but you can still focus on the GOOD!  Look for what IS working instead of what isn't!

What you FOCUS on GROWS!

Blessings!

People Like Hearing The GOOD STUFF Too!

When you meet up with people from your past or that you haven’t seen in a while it's only natural to want to talk and catch up. It can happen at a party, somebody's wedding, the church nursery, Facebook or even when you bump into somebody on the street.. Catching up in itself is not a problem. The problem usually occurs when the topic of conversation turns to people you know. While you may want to share memories about the people in your life, you really need to watch what you say. Something innocently said can lead to misunderstanding & in some cases; cause the end of a friendship.

That's why it's important to remember, these FIVE SIMPLE RULES OF GOSSIP: 

1. Stick to the Facts - When you're telling a story you have your opinion. Unfortunately when you add in your two cents, sometimes it can change a person's perception of the situation. Even when you think you know everything about what went on in someone else's life, you may not have the whole story. So when you're talking about someone else, only say what you know is true.
   
2. Never start with "I heard..." - There's a reason hearsay isn't admissible in court. People sometimes hear what they want to hear. As the story is passed from person to person people forget to stick to the FACTS & the TRUTH can get lost in translation. If you don't have personal knowledge from the source, don't spread the gossip.
   
3. Know When to Keep It Between Friends - It's easy to start a conversation with someone at a party or event & slip in a "harmless" remark about someone. A little gossip to a stranger can be a horrible mistake, one many people have made. Even when what you're saying is an "inside joke" between you & your friends, it may be offensive when mentioned in public. What is shared between friends should stay between friends, unless you’ve agreed that it can be shared with others.
   
4. Don't Take Sides - While you may believe that taking sides will show your loyalty, think about what happens when the people you're gossiping about get back together. Friendships & relationships have their ups and downs. They fight, they argue, they make up. The only person that loses many times is the person who took sides, especially when this was done when gossiping. You can't take back the things you've said.
   
5. Never Try to Get Back at Someone - This often happens when people break up. It can be a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, friendship or a family relationship. After the initial pain is gone, that’s when the claws come out. Don't use false rumors or negativity to get back at the person you're angry with. Break ups can be temporary, but badmouthing someone will definitely make it permanent. Think about that before you say anything.

For some these rules may seem easy. However if you're a full-fledged card carrying gossip, following these rules can be a daunting task. In fact you may have already lost some friends by breaking them. These habits die hard, but they can be overcome. Remember, people like hearing the GOOD STUFF too. Tell them about the great things going on in people's lives & stay away from the negative. Not only will that make you a better friend, in the end it will make you a happier & more positive person.

Ephesians 4:29 "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear."

Mentorship: Practical & Crucial

Question: How do you define MENTORING?

• Webster's: someone who teaches or gives help and advice to a less experienced and often younger person.
• I believe that mentoring is a RELATIONAL experience in which one person empowers another by sharing God-given RESOURCES.

Question: Is there a difference between DISCIPLING and MENTORING?

• A DISCIPLER could be defined as someone who helps an understudy (1) give up their own will for the will of God, (2) live daily a life of spiritual sacrifice for God's glory, and (3) strive to be consistently obedient to the commands of The Lord.
• A MENTOR, on the other hand, provides modeling, closer supervision on special projects, individualized help in many areas - discipline, encouragement, correction, confrontation, and a calling to accountability. 

Mentoring is a PROCESS of opening our lives to others, of sharing our lives with others; a process of living for the next generation.

My life verse is Psalm 145:4 "One generation shall praise thy works to another, and shall declare thy mighty acts."

• This verse speaks of passing something on to the generation following.
• It speaks to me of being generationally minded.

Consider this old Chinese Proverb:

• "If you are planting for a year, plant grain.
• If you are planting for a decade, plant trees.
• If you are planting for a century, plant people."

Planting people takes TIME.  More time spent with fewer people equals greater lasting impact for God.  

While some seek to impact the MULTITUDE, it's the ONE that remains with you till the end. 

Remember that it was the multitude that left Jesus first when He was on His way to the cross...followed by the 70, the 12 and the 3...but only the 1 (John) remained at the foot of the cross.

Your greatest impact is in the one!

• Moses mentored Joshua.
• Naomi mentored her daughter-in-law Ruth.
• Ezra mentored Nehemiah.
• Elijah mentored Elisha.
• Elizabeth mentored her cousin Mary.
• Barnabas mentored Paul and John Mark.
• Paul mentored his spiritual son Timothy.

Question: Who is your Paul?

• Do you have a SPIRITUAL mentor who is pouring his/her life into you the way Paul poured his life into Timothy?
• Do you have someone you can go to for WISE counsel?
• Do you have someone who is a GODLY example for you and a model worth imitating?
• Do you have someone who lives out BIBLICAL values and spiritual maturity?
• Do you have someone with solid SKILLS that can help you improve where you are weak?

JOB DESCRIPTION of a MENTOR

1. A willingness to spend the TIME it takes to build a bonded relationship with the learner.
2. A commitment to believing in the POTENTIAL and FUTURE of the learner; to telling them what kind of exciting future you see ahead for him or her; to visualizing and verbalizing the possibilities of his or her life.
3. A willingness to be VULNERABLE and TRANSPARENT before the learner, willing to share not only strengths and successes but also weaknesses, failures and brokenness.
4. A willingness to be honest yet AFFIRMING in confronting the learner's errors, faults and areas of immaturity.
5. A commitment to STANDING by the learner through trials - even trials that are self-inflicted as a result of ignorance or error.
6. A commitment to helping the learner set GOALS for his or her spiritual life, career, or ministry and to helping the learner dream his or her dream.
7. A willingness to objectively EVALUATE the learner's progress toward his or her goal.
8. Above all, a commitment to faithfully put into PRACTICE all that one teachers the learner.

I believe the best learning doesn't come from a classroom or a book...it must be heard, seen, studied, handled, lived and experienced in order to be PROVEN and assimilated!

Question: Who is your Barnabas?

• Do you have someone in your life to encourage you?
• Do you have someone to believe in you, support you and guide you?

ENCOURAGEMENT is the kind of expression that helps someone want to be better!

Lessons from Barnabas:

1. He was generous with his finances (Acts 4:32-37)
2. He reached out to Paul when everyone else was skeptical about him. (Acts 9:26-31, 11:25-30)
3. He spent time with Mark when he had failed. (Acts 15:36-39)

This was the RESULT of Barnabas' encouragement:

• If it were not for Barnabas we would not have Paul's epistles nor Mark's Gospel; nor the rapid spread of the Gospel!

Four Key's to Barnabas' life (Acts 11:24)

1. He was a man of integrity.
2. He was a man full of the Holy Spirit (John 14:16-17, 26).
3. He was a man full of faith.
4. He was teachable. (Acts 13:43,50)

Question: Who is your Timothy?

• Do you have someone in whom to invest your own life?
• If married, you should look at your spouse, children or grandchildren as a "Timothy". But is there anyone outside your family in whom you are investing?

2 Timothy 2:2 "You then, my child, be strengthened by the grace that is in Christ Jesus, and what you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men who will be able to teacher others."

The 6 Keys of Mentoring

1. RELATIONAL - The you in 2 Timothy 2:2 refers to Timothy and the me refers to the Apostle Paul. People LEARN how to better love and follow Jesus in the context of FOCUSED FRIENDSHIP.
2. PERSONAL - The basics that Timothy learned from Paul were mediated through his unique personality, gifting and style.
3. THEOLOGICAL - Paul is faithfully delivering what he himself received from MANY WITNESSES or martyrs. Martyrs became public witnesses to the truth. The meaning of the word martyr literally means that Christian truth-telling could be TERMINALLY costly.
4. INTENTIONAL - All of us are involved in hundreds of unintentional relationships. However,  in the case of Paul and Timothy we see a relationship that was established for a specific purpose.
5. TRANSFORMATIONAL - Mentoring involves study, reflection; action and receptivity.
6. REPRODUCIBLE - Who will be able to TEACH others.

Climbing The Mountain of Humility

Since 1924 till now, 282 people have died trying to reach the top of Mount Everest. Over 4100 have actually reached the summit.

In my opinion, mountaineering experiences are like metaphors for leaders. We must surround ourselves with wise people, who can help guide us, lest arrogance enters in.

Charisma and confidence may be qualifying virtues but they have to be fueled by HUMILITY.

Humility drives high performance. It improves our judgment by taming our EGO. Although we can be good and effective leaders with big egos, making the leap from GOOD to GREAT requires something extra. We must learn to balance ego with HUMILITY.

As a student on the climb to leadership greatness, whenever I forget to balance my ego with humility, I end up learning the hard way.

We never outgrow leadership or our leaders, we simply climb together as a team, with humility, and draw strength from one another.

Self-promotion erodes our HUMILITY. As someone who has an online presence, I realize that it comes with a responsibility. Often, I must be sensitive to the Holy Spirit as He reminds me to promote The Lord and others more than myself.

PRIDE is a struggle for many leaders, but we must strive to bring humility to our leadership roles.

What does a HUMBLE leader look like?

1. TRUST - A humble leader will take a risk on others, trusting them with their God given vision, even at the risk of being disappointed.

2. INVESTMENT - A humble leader will continually look for ways to invest in others, raising up and maturing new leaders.

3. STRONG/GENTLE - A humble leader isn't weak, but they keep Jesus in the core of their heart so that their strength reveals gentleness.

4. ADMITS MISTAKES - A humble leader will own up to their part of a situation.

5. FORGIVES - A humble leader will overlook the disappointments from others. They keep a short list and forgive easily and quickly.

6. PROMOTES OTHERS - A humble leader will receive recognition with grace and then quickly divert the attention to others, sharing the limelight with those who many times may have had more to do with the success than they did.

7. ACKNOWLEDGES LIMITATIONS - A humble leader realizes that they cannot do everything. They learn quickly to say "no" or "I can't do that" or "I'm not the one who should, but I know who to ask."

Humility isn't having a LOW OPINION of yourself...it's simply not thinking OF yourself.

IF WE ARE TO REACH THE SUMMIT TOGETHER,
WE MUST REMAIN HUMBLE!

Run Your Own Race

If we believe the lies of the enemy, we will attempt to COMPETE with the people God has called us to COMPLETE.  

Some people feel the need to compete in order to gain popularity, respect and success amongst their leaders, peers and even their family.  I want you to know that you shouldn't be competing with anyone!  

Favor on your life isn't just granted so you can earn recognition.  Jesus already recognizes WHO you are and assigns unmerited favor to you without the need to EARN it through works.

I want to encourage you today to shake off the notion to perform and simply relax in the finished work of Christ.  

Performance based ministry is saturated with the spirit of legalism and does not benefit the Kingdom of God!  

I believe we all struggle with a degree of INSECURITY and PERFORMANCE based ministry because we've all had our true IDENTITIES distorted by the sin we were born into. God created us to be His INTIMATE friends, but sin separates us and makes us feel INCOMPLETE and INSECURE.

That VOID compels us to COMPETE with and COMPARE ourselves to one another. We end up living based on the PERCEPTIONS and unrealistic EXPECTATIONS of others, and we let our SIN lead us there because it feels natural.

Today...I'm FED UP with seeing this need to PERFORM in life and ministry.  Today...I want you to know that you need to RUN YOUR OWN RACE...not everyone else's!

How do you RUN YOUR OWN RACE?

1. KNOW YOURSELF

God has designed us to be FRUITFUL where He has planted us. However, we won't be fruitful if we really haven't discovered who we are and what ministry God has called us to. 

Ask yourself the following questions:

• What are my gifts?
• How do I see God using me now?
• How has He used me to minister to others in the past?
• What message does my life seem to write over and over?

Knowing yourself starts with a SELF-EXAMINATION of your life, gifts and calling so that God will help you see who He has created you to be.  I love Peter's explanation of this in 2 Peter 1:3 and also James 1:5-6.

• By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence.
• 5 If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. 6 But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind.

When He speaks to you and you understand who you are, you won't feel the pressure to become someone else. This is the first key to running your own race!

2. BE YOURSELF

It's tempting to watch and analyze other people who are successful and think we have to be like them, especially in the world of Internet overload.  However, doing this FREEZES our fruitfulness because we fall victim to COMPARISON, COMPETITION and other people's EXPECTATIONS and PERCEPTIONS!

FREE YOURSELF by knowing that God only expects you to be YOU!

If you're feeling pressure to become anyone else, then know that that impulse did not come from The Holy Spirit...but rather your old nature!

THROW IT OFF!

God did not FREE you just to make you a slave to sin again!  If the Son has set you free, then you are free! (John 8:36)

Don't throw away your hopes and dreams...I believe God wants to use you beyond what you can imagine!  He can align your hopes and dreams to His so that you're not STRIVING, COMPETING or COMPARING and becoming FRUSTRATED!

Friend, run your own race, 

not someones else's!

You are not equipped to run someone else's...you are only equipped to run the race that Jesus has designed for you.  Only you can run in our lane, so STAY IN IT and don't merge into someone else's. 

KNOW YOURSELF and BE YOURSELF and I believe you will "win the prize for which Christ has called you heavenward in Christ Jesus!" (Philippians 4:13)

I Raised The Rent On Toxic People

A few years ago, I decided to raise the rent on toxic people.  I raised it so high that they can no longer afford space in my life.  

Friends, you don't always know you're in a toxic relationship until one day you wake up with the reality that you're being used for what you can do for someone else. It suddenly becomes crystal clear that you are being manipulated by intimidation and control.

Sadly, there are people who will use you to get what they want...whether it's financial support, association or recognition.  I've witnessed first hand people who used their relationship with me to gain financial support.  They said they loved me, but in truth they loved what I could do for them and when I no longer was willing to do for them, they parted ways.

Based on your personality type, you might be the giver in your relationships.  I've learned that people who are takers will let you continue to be the giver while they keep taking.  

I don't think it's wrong to be a giver but I do feel that giving needs to be reciprocated or it will become one sided very quickly...and that is out of balance. I also think you have to learn how to discern when you're being taken advantage of and stand up for yourself.

It wasn't until that I had the epitome that I was being taken advantage of, in multiple ways, that I decided to make a clean break.  Friends, that decision has gained me so much health! Sure, it was hard to let go of what I was used to...because, admittedly, I am a person that feels secure with familiarity. But it was absolutely necessary! No matter what I seemingly lost, to some, the reality is that I gained more than I have ever experienced in my entire life.

Here's what I had to do...

1. Keep it moving.

• Not everyone deserves access in your life.  Once you decide to remove toxicity from your environment, it becomes a lot easier to breath.  You just have to come to the place where you determine...enough is enough!  Letting go of people doesn't mean that you hate them, or that you wish them harm; it simply means you care about your own well-being.

2. Stop pretending.

• Don't ignore the signs of toxicity. Toxic people will wear you down with their demands and moodiness and it may seem like it's easier to let them have their way than to deal with their aftermath but the truth is they're not going to change when you constantly reward them for NOT changing.

3. Stand up for yourself.

• Some people will make you feel like you're a bad person because you simply refuse to tolerate their expense any longer.  This is where manipulation and intimidation can slip in. They will begin to over talk you, corner you into seeing things their way or false accuse you and try to convince you that you are wrong.  However, you must stand up for yourself anyway.

4. Put your foot down.

• Believe me, when you do this, your character will be attacked.  You will become ostracized by some, false accused, talked about behind your back and people may kill you with assumicide!  However, your character and integrity will remain in tact if you just STAND and let the Lord be honored in your humility and obedience.

5. Recognize who's behind it.

• More than likely, you will be made to feel that you've done something wrong. If you're not careful you'll buy into their notion that you might actually have done something wrong and that itself will hurt your confidence and unsettle your resolve.  Do not let this happen! Don't take it personally especially from people who have never sat where you've sat or handled the amount of responsibility you have handled. They speak from inexperience so don't take it personal.

6. Remain compassionate.

• Those that hate you today will need you tomorrow. Don't lose your compassion or allow your heart to become hardened. Be compassionate and willing to pardon those who have done you wrong.  However, remember the quote "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." - Maya Angelou  You don't have to open the door to them again.  In fact, you wouldn't have the THIS if you would have held on to THAT. Access into your life is a privilege not a right. Be nice. Be kind. Be courteous. But keep it moving!

Say NO to Toxicity!