Looking back I wonder why there wasn't a class offered to new pastors that dealt with inevitible experiences new pastors would encounter. Unfortunately, there were some serious situations we would encounter early on that would either make us or break us.
When we came to BFWC I thought everyone would be happy to see us and they would jump on board with the dream. (Ok...go ahead and laugh...get it out of your system...SMILE) Even though we were both preacher's kids and grew up in pastor's homes...that still didn't prepare us for the SPIRITUAL BATTLE we would encounter.
Did I miss this "spiritual warfare" class? I guess I was shielded from the fact that as I grew as a leader, Christian and a pastor, I would become a bigger target for the enemy. Even as a youth pastor, I didn't take into account the full weight of ministry that my senior pastor had on his shoulders.
It's easy to dream about being the senior pastor of your own church when you're serving with someone else who is carrying the full load and shielding you from the real heat of the battle. Transitioning from an associate role to a Lead Pastor role was definitely an EYE OPENER.
I think the big issue is LACK OF PREPARATION. Don't get me wrong, there are certain things you will definitely learn from your leader but at the end of the day you're still going to have to learn some things through your own trial and error. The good news is...if you pay attention to your leader's instruction and remain teachable no matter where you are...you'll navigate through those difficult challenges with TWICE THE WISDOM.
Thank God today for the men whose feet I sat at. Their insight and example prepared me for my present and future assignment(s). I am so thankful for a Father/Son relationship. Learning how to handle my self with grace while faced with serious issues in the church comes from the example of my leaders whose shoulders I'm privileged to stand on.
Beverly and I look back to those early years when we came to BFWC and wonder "How did we make it"? There were attitudes, personalities, problems, spirits, etc...that all had to be filtered through with finesse and grace. We had prayed about this role for a few years and anticipated the good and the bad. It was in the years of preparation that the Lord was actually testing our sanctification in Him. That process included lots of waiting, learning, growing and trusting Him. Then and only then...did God SET US UP to lead this great church in Indianapolis.
After twelve years, (now 24) I feel as if we have not only received ministerial training but also ten degree's worth of knowledge and experience. (Smile)
Here are a few lessons I'm still learning...
1. Love your peers. Pray for your pastoral team, elders, deacons, ministry coaches and dream team volunteers. The people you work with every day are the people you want to make yourself available to as much as possible. They are just as important as members of the congregation.
2. Expect to be misunderstood. Not everyone will receive your ministry. In general, you will be loved, celebrated and appreciated. Your gifts, personality and style of leadership will be a welcomed by most people. However, there will still be some who will respond negatively, some with petty reasons. Some, including leaders, will leave. You cannot control that, but you can shepherd through it. If you will keep your door open to those who are struggling with your leadership, you're more likely to reach a good resolve. Those who don't want to meet with you are beyond your responsibility. Remain open to advice, input and counsel. Determine to grow as a godly pastor and be faithful to the WORD of GOD. Life is different as a Lead Pastor than an Associate Pastor - you are now the target of stronger opinions, reactions, criticism and rejection.
3. Your role will afford you new friendships. Even though God uses you to meet people's needs...remember...you are not JESUS. Pastors should do their job well but not become a crutch for their congregation. Believe me...there are better preachers than you and stronger pastors too. Be open to receive positive feedback from your congregation...some of that will include notes, invitations for meals, etc. Your people will seek you out for leadership. DO NOT LET THAT GO TO YOUR HEAD. Keep the cross always before you! Cling to it! Believe me, there will be days when you'll feel like you've been punched in the stomach with criticism or news of another family leaving the church. If you keep the cross before you...you'll have a healthy perspective of who you are in Christ. Defer all the glory to HIM!
4. Be kind and speak well of everyone you have previously served with. Believe me, you'll end up eating crow for all the critical, quickly arrived at, ungracious feelings and words you had toward the upper leadership in your previous church. If we're not careful, we'll end up griping about how we think the elders and senior pastor are missing it. Like children, we end up seconding guessing mom and dad...until, you become one. Once you step into that role as senior pastor you'll soon realize that leading a church is not as easy as you thought...teamwork, meetings, unity, spiritual growth in the congregation, balancing family and ministry, sermon preparation, leadership, administration and personal shepherding. The responsibility is quite demanding and sometimes exhausting. You WILL struggle with regret at some of the ways you reacted to the "upper management" back at the old place. Want some advice? Receive the wisdom from your leaders while you're serving with them. Be a BLESSING to your leaders and fellow laborers, especially those who are over you in the Lord.
5. It may get bumpy. I'll never forget the words of Sister Burke, our previous national Indian Missions Director, who said, "It's not all fried chicken." You will have your "ups" and "downs." You will suffer persecution and a bulls eye will be placed on your head. However, stepping up to fulfill your calling is an OPPORTUNITY for God to show Himself strong in the Kingdom. Think about...you get to preach the Gospel! You get to proclaim the name of Jesus! You get to lead a church forward out of the ash heap of deadness into life! The devil doesn't like you or the work you're doing. You are now threatening his dominion and believe me...he'll attack you! Every leader whose ever done anything GREAT for God has had to deal with the bumpy road. Satan does not give up ground easily, whether within the church or territory your church is about to take for Christ's name. YOU MUST PREPARE yourself by expecting the attack, asking for prayer, holding fast to God's grace and aligning yourself with some GODLY elders around you who will FIGHT with prayer, accountability and common strength!
6. Understand that loneliness is part of leadership. As you lead, you'll be put in a position that may put you at arm's length with those you lead. It's alright to have friends and it's alright to let people in. However, you must still remember that you are their leader. If you lose your ability to lead because of too much familiarity...well, then you've shot yourself in the toe. Don't be reluctant to have friends...but always remember who you are. You're not above anyone...but you are held to a high standard so that your testimony will lead people UP not DOWN. Trust God to provide you with friendships. He will give them to you AS YOU ARE ABLE TO HANDLE THEM.
7. Position your family for this change. Like it or not, your spouse and children will be exposed to the ministry as much as you. They will share in your calling...even if they don't want to. It's quite acceptable to ask them how they feel about being involved in the ministry. If you are mindful of their feelings then you'll more than likely have greater longevity through the rigors of ministry life. Seek out other leaders who can relate to your spouse and children. Their influence and friendship will help you through the rough times. Remember, your ministry belongs to your family as well.
If you are a pastor reading this...my friend...don't give up! God has long range plans for you! Like the energizer bunny...keep GOING and GOING and GOING and GOING and GOING!
